Tag Archive for Facial Expressions

Microexpressions

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Micro

Microexpressions, such as this furrowed forehead (a negative thought indicator) are called “leaked” because they happen quickly and last only fractions of a second before disappearing. Because they are difficult to control, they tend to be reliable indicators of truly felt emotions.

 

Microexpressions are facial movements or expressions that flash across the face at such a fast rate that they are barely perceivable. Slow motion replays of high speed videography easily shows what is difficult to see in real time. The persistence of these cues range from 1/25 to 1/5 of a second. It is the study of microexpressions that assumes that certain aspects of facial expressions reveal this duplicity to betray the liar. The research was originally pioneer by Guillaume Duchenne in the 1800s as we saw in an earlier chapter who discerned the difference between real and fake smiles from the use of the zygomatic major muscles which pull the corners of the mouth upward and the orbicularis oculi, the muscle around the eye that pulls the cheek up while lowering the brow. This was the true smile and in the same way, other unconscious microgestures reveal negative emotions. Presumably it is more difficult to prevent a felt emotion in addition to creating a false emotion than to simply neutralize the face. The term “masked” refers to any facial emotion that is either replaced by a different falsified expression, or is neutralized with no emotion present. This is when microexpressions should be most evident.

Microexpressions, on the other hand, are tied to leakage in so much as they are an attempt to hide our true feelings. When we tell a lie, and if we hold any remorse for that lie, repressed or otherwise, our faces should reveal these cues through facial expressions. When a deceiver tries to repress an emotion caused by lying, the result is a micro display that briefly comes across the face instead. Other times these cues happen at a much slower rate and are perceivable by the naked eye. Those that can intuitively detect lies often score high on the ability to recognize microexpressions.

Lies can be betrayed by signs of emotions as they relate to microexpressions or in other words, it is difficult for a liar to create emotions that don’t exist. For example, it is difficult to consciously narrow the red margins of the lips so this can be an indicator of feigned anger. Rarely do we detect these fake emotions though, which is partly due to the fact that we simply don’t care to know the truth as it serves no useful purpose to us; there is no reward or incentive.

A study conducted in 2008 by Stephen Porter and Leanne Brinke of Dalhouse University who examined microexpressions through the examination of high speed video cameras found some, but incomplete support, for their use in detecting feigned emotions. In fact the emotions they did uncover occurred over a much longer time which could suggest that they might be easier to detect than previously though. They also found that it was far easier to neutralize the face (show no expression) than to create an artificial emotion. In the neutral face, they found a lower blink rate, possibly due to the effects of claming up, but where a masked face appeared, they found increased blinking likely due to the stress associated with faking a face. Other studies suggest that liars increase blink rate, as we recall. They also found that all participants showed at least one inconsistent emotion during deception showing that leakage might be ubiquitous, but the overall success rate was still only sixty percent. Confusing the findings further, they found that microexpressions were found throughout positive emotions.

To date very little study has gone into microexpressions which is surprising given the widespread attention is had been given. It is currently being utilized as a massive foundation for the U.S. transportation agency to help identify suspicious passengers. While the science is incomplete with regards to microexpressions, it is important to realize their existence, real or not, because the next time we wait to board a plane, the eye in the sky and the personnel on the floor are eagerly watching for our nervous ticks for the opportunity to pull us aside for more questioning. The rational of course is that while nervous ticks might not accurately betray a liar all the time, it does form a basis to increase the level of investigation even if there are occasional misses. The (not too?) distant future might hold recognition software that reads all levels of being, from gait to blood pressure, voice inconsistencies and perhaps microexpressions. Most experts agree that this technology, due to its complex nature, won’t be in production for some time though.

Introduction – Chapter 16

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

He does not answer questions, or gives evasive answers; he speaks nonsense, rubs the
great toe along the ground; and shivers; his face is discolored; he rubs the roots of his
hair with his fingers.
—Description of a liar, 900 B.C.

Touching the nose has long been use as a 'tell' when detecting lies. However, is lying just that easy to spot?

Touching the nose has long been use as a ‘tell’ when detecting lies. However, is lying just that easy to spot?

I’ve been putting off writing this chapter for some time and not for reasons of laziness. In fact, I have research the topic to death. The problem with lying related body language is that it’s not where it needs to be in order to be useful to the vast majority of people. What research on lie detection, and there is plenty, tells us, is that there is no definitive traits that give up all liars. Most of the cues are either anecdotal or happen some of the time, but not all of the time. Other studies tell us that so called experts, that is, police officers, interrogators, customs inspectors, federal law enforcement, federal polygraphers, robbery investigators, judges, parole officers and psychiatrists fair only at slightly above the fifty percent success rate. In fact, the average is somewhere around thirty-seven to seventy percent. It doesn’t take a mathematician to realize that someone flipping a coin is just as skilled at coming up with the correct answers as any one of the ‘experts’. Other research tells us that higher order interrogators aren’t able to pass on their intuitive abilities to others, telling us that they can’t quantify their observations. If they can’t pass it on to laypersons, than it’s of no practical purpose for me to pass it on either. Other times programs specifically designed and sold to improve detection of deception have failed miserably and have even lead to the detriment, rather than improvement of performance.

Several cues have been attributed to detecting lies. They generally fit into two broad classes. The first is nonverbal visual cues such as facial expressions, eye blinking, eye contact or gaze aversion, head movements, pupil dilation, nodding, smiling, hand movements or gestures, foot and leg movements and postural shifts. The second includes paraverbal cues including pitch, pauses, or speech errors. We will get into these cues in the following pages.

There are other ways that scientists use to detect lies and these involve machines. The most common is the polygraph or lie detector machine. The polygraph relies on changes in heart rate, blood pressure and increases in perspiration or respiration. However, these cues are of practically no use to us because they are difficult, although not impossible to see. For example, an increase in heart rate can be seen if one looks closely at the carotid artery that runs along the neck, and an increase in sweating does become apparent with an increase in scratching of the palms. Further to this, the polygraph has a poor track record and most experts agree that they have severe limitations and their accuracy is known to be inconsistent. As well will see, one facet of lie detection involves the reading of nervousness, but practiced pathological liars are skilled at eliminating nervousness, some even thrive on it thereby reducing the propensity of visible and invisible cues.

Notwithstanding the myriad of hard fast research on lie detection, it is still a widespread belief in the population that nonverbal behaviours betray a liar. Worldwide, cross-cultural comparison has shown a universally held belief that liars are spotted through their bodies. Police training packages will often include nonverbal and paraverbal behaviours as part of the ways in which deception can be detected. A study by Lucy Akehurst of the University of Portsmouth found that when asked which behaviours they thought would be consistent with lying, both police officers and regular lay people agreed. There was no difference between what the experts thought betrayed a liar and what regular people thought. They also agreed that these behavioural changes would occur more frequently in others as they lied, than in themselves. This finding is replicated in other studies as well. For example, police officers and students agreed on which behaviours were consistent with lying and they also thought that they themselves would display these cues less during lying. The research therefore is inconsistent with the nature of lying. It can not happen both ways, and it seems that our attitudes about lying and lie detection are skewed.

Judgments of deception are heavily correlated with long held stereotypes. Person’s that display behaviours associated with lying are often judged as deceptive even though they may be telling the truth. Study after study shows that roughly only fifty percent of the time liars give themselves away, the remaining time, liars are passed off as truth tellers and truth tellers as liars. Pegging liars based on body language alone or some other mystical cue is a dangerous assumption. It can lead to marital break-ups such as if a spouse falsely labels her husband as a cheater, can put innocent people in jail, can lead to the firing of employees on suspicion of theft and so forth. Yet with this huge propensity for error and consequence, we still, by in large, believe that we can read people on this trait. What shouldn’t surprise us are the rewards achievable through lying and cheating. Lying can avoid punishment, save us from hardships, but perhaps more importantly can help protect those around us and their feelings. The question “Does this dress make me look fat?” does not necessitate an honest answer, and in so doing, everyone is much happier!

Teachers, principles, lay persons and even intellectuals have been shown to all think similarly in terms of lie detection, and the body language associated (even if incorrect). Thus to avoid being detected, or mislabeled a liar (which is worse), we should still avoid displaying stereotypical lying body language that will serve to give us away. At this point, you should understand my reasoning for presenting this chapter even if only to slightly help us catch liars. While lying body language may be of some help in catching a liar, it will help avoid making us appear as though we are lying in the eyes of those around us. As the studies on beliefs about deception have indicated, there seems to be worldwide agreement on what constitute cues to deception in others. Therefore, it is these behaviours one should avoid so as not to appear dishonest. I will add too, that lie detection is not impossible, certain individuals do fair better than chance alone when detecting lies. However it is with caution that I present this chapter because as of yet, it is difficult to pin down exactly which cues are used and which cues happen across all people. Some cues mean deception some of the time, while other times they are simply related to emotional arousal and stress which can be due to being portrayed inaccurately as a liar, or in response to the punishment that might be forthcoming. Sometimes it is the worry about being “under the gun” that causes the stress and therefore the behaviour, and not because of any concern about the telling of a lie. While this chapter provides cues to emotionality related to lying, it will be up to the reader of the language to determine the source, be it actual lying or emotions related to being caught.

Summary – Chapter 13

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this chapter we looked extensively at courtship signals. We learned that men who are not familiar with body language tend to miss the signals put out by women, but that women can be misleading or confusing as message senders, and that it is the women’s job to signal sexual interest. We talked about the most common sexual signals women use, starting with displays of submission including pigeon toes or tibial torsion, shoulder shrugs, exposing the neck or wrists, head tilt, smiling, the forehead bow and childlike playfulness. The second class of signals, we discussed where ways to create sexiness such as tossing the hair, tilting the pelvis, the parade, the room encompassing glance, grooming and preening, the leg twine and leg crossing, hiking the skirt and or dressing provocatively. The third way women use to indicate interest that we covered related to proximity such as moving closer, pointing and eye contact and crossing the legs towards her object of affection. The remaining sexual signals were rapport building. We learned that women dress more provocatively and ornament more elaborately when most fertile and receptive to male advances, that echoing and mirroring is a big component in the mating dance, and how squeezing the hand can be used as a kiss test.

We then looked at the main behaviours that can be used by women to avoid male solicitation which included facial expressions such as yawning, frowning, sneering, gaze avoidance, upward gaze, looking away, and staring and gestures such as negative head shaking, nail cleaning, teeth picking or pocketing hands and postural patterns such as arm crossing, holding the trunk rigidly, closing the legs, body contact avoidance or pulling away. These were classified into three main categories; gaze avoidance, gestures and posture patterns.

As we saw, men solicit attention from women in a different way. Men will demonstrate dominance and virility to appear sexier to women, whereas women traditionally display submission. We saw that alpha men will use the cowboy posture to draw attention to their genitals, they will and should eliminate beta male body language to attract women, use more open postures such as legs spread apart, arms uncrossed, keep their hands away from their face, hold a firm upright torso, use their arms and hands to punctuate points in speech, speak slowly with a calm voice, use fewer filler words such as “umms” and “ahhs” and generally take up more space to appear more relaxed and in control. We learned that the dominant male posture happens by placing the feet flat with the body’s weight spread evenly with hips forward and legs slightly wider than shoulder width. We then looked at how men can use negative body language to trick women into thinking they are disinterested in a cat and mouse game, how tonality affects attraction with deeper being sexier, that random smiling can bring about good things and that men should wait until eye contact is established before smiling to anchor a smile to a specific target before breaking eye contact by looking downward. In our final section we covered the tens steps to intimacy.

How Women Can Avoid Solicitation By Men

by  • March 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

She's just not that into you.

She’s just not that into you.

The chapter has a heavy focus on ways that women attract sexual attention, but there were a few hints dropper here and there with regards to ways women can avoid attention. The problem as women might view it is that most of the tactics involved dropping cues, or ‘inaction’ rather than actionable body language. Because there are times when women require the opposite result, I have devoted this section to ways women can actively send rejection signals. It is far easier and less embarrassing to use nonverbal language to send negative signals and they can be implemented earlier to reduce escalation before it’s too late. Women far too often make the mistake of placating others to their own detriment. When men are bored, they feel no pain, no discomfort, no desire to offer anything other than a barren despondent look on their face. It might surprise you to hear me say to this, congratulations! Men who show their true emotions have mastered, all-be-it passively, the use of effective body language and use it to convey their boredom to others. When men are bored, they say “shape up or ship out”, women should heed this and follow. So women, please pay careful attention to the tips that follow to avoid unwanted approaches.

My conclusions are drawn in large part from the research of Dr. Monica Moore in 1998 who looked at rejection patterns in women. She found seventeen main behaviours in her study that indicated rejection of potential male partners. They included facial expressions such as yawning, frowning, sneering, gaze avoidance, upward gaze, hair gaze (looking at one’s own hair), looking away, and staring, as well as gestures such as negative head shaking, nail cleaning, teeth picking or pocketing hands, and finally, posture patterns such as arm crossing, holding the trunk rigidly, closed legs, body contact avoidance or pulling away. Here they are by category in a bit more detail.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Avoiding eye contact shows men that we're not interested in interacting.

Avoiding eye contact shows men that we’re not interested in interacting.

Gaze avoidance happens when the woman refused to make eye contact with the man, despite him looking directly at her. She will look at other people, make eye contact with someone else, or pretend to be taken by something else in the room. This can and in fact, should be done while a man is currently speaking. Buck up women, grow some and spell it out! Look at it this way, you’re saving him time by being direct and upfront and in the long run, he might even thank you if it gives him the time to pursue someone else. To display disinterest a women can also look upward by raising the chin only a quarter inch or look at the ends of her hair which is a strong signal of boredom and detachment. Any behaviours should include prolonged inattention, lasting at least ten seconds, but more is always better! Staring is also used, in this case staring lasts multiple seconds or until the man looks away, but when he does, don’t look him over, start a conversation with someone else or leave altogether without saying anything. If none of these messages seem to be working, add frowns or sneers to your repertoire. The sneer happens with furrowed brows and the mouth is compressed and turned downward. The sneer happens when the mouth is twisted and the nose wrinkled. Next you can use head shaking and yawning which shows negative thoughts rather than using more affirmative head movements such as nods.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Turning the body away and taking a step amplifies disinterest.

Turning the body away and taking a step amplifies disinterest.

Gestures are nonverbal rejection patterns that involved movement of the hands and arms. Interested women perform palm displays, however, disinterested women will pocket their hands instead, or cross their arms over their chest. To further disinterest, an increase in distance would occur by taking steps backwards or using barriers to reduce closeness. Self grooming can also be used to show disinterest, but not in a flirtatious way. Instead picking the nails, or teeth is used to turn men off and efficiently display disinterest.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Crossing the arms denies a man exposure to your torso - an unwelcome signal.

Crossing the arms denies a man exposure to your torso – an unwelcome signal.

Posture patterns involve movement and positioning of the body. These are tied to closed body positions and include such items as tightly crossing the legs, legs crossed at the ankles or hidden under a chair. Other postures include a rigid upright torso and positions that avoided body contact and if contact was initiated the women would pull away. Leaning back and turning the back to the man is also effective.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Whatever cues you plan on using, be sure of your intent before emitting them. If you are serious about rejecting someone it is important that you be deliberate, predictable and consistent. If you flip-flop from positive to negative cues, he’ll just think that you are “moody” which will create a situation that makes negative cues less effective in the future. It will also prolong pursuit because the positive cues mixed into the interaction will provide him incentives to continue. Finally, be prepared to be called bad names like “grumpy” and of course “bitch.” It is unfortunate for women that they aren’t given the same latitude as men in terms of their ability to display negative emotions in an outward fashion, but this is the world we live in and no amount of complaining will change it. The research tells us that women are expected to smile even if unhappy, and be chipper when depressed, but when it comes to rejecting someone, it’s best done quickly and without remorse. Afterall, when it comes to rejection, do you really care what their opinion is of you?

If this sort of tactic makes you uncomfortable, you are welcome to use an integrity based, verbal rejection. “Sorry, I’m not interested” will work just fine in most cases. Whatever method you choose, it will be you that has to live by it.

Summary – Chapter 12

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this chapter we found that mirroring is one of the quickest and most efficient ways to build rapport with other people. It can be done consciously to gain an advantage and if done properly will go without noticed. It is effective to create liking, acceptance and formulate bonds. We discussed the chameleon affect where unconscious mimicry of postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviours occur between people of like minds. We looked at various studies showing that even purposeful mirroring has positive effects, creates and reveals liking in others, and helps gain approval. We found that proper mirroring is unlike the childhood game “copy-cat” where we imitate to irritate.

Proper mirroring, we found, works best by subtly picking up on unconscious gestures such as foot shaking, body scratching, face or hair touching or changes in posture. We discussed that mirroring that includes more dramatic gestures like leaning in, crossing legs, or folding arms, must always be done undetected lest it cause irreversible damage or negative thoughts. Echoing was compared to mirroring, with one key difference. That is, we found that echoing happens when similar postures were taken up, but only after some time had elapsed, rather than immediately as in mirroring. Echoing was therefore described as a more subtle way to build rapport. We found that mirroring can help find common ground during negotiations by creating cooperation and empathy instead of deception.

We also talked about what issues can arise to inhibit mirroring which includes resistance from inward looking people who define themselves by whom they are rather than their associations with others, self monitors who tend to obey their own internal regulators instead of modifying themselves by environment, and the final reason was outlined as outright disagreement. We discussed how mirroring can be matched to create perfect flow through changing dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitch, tonality, voice inflection, use of words and even accent and is called “communication accommodation theory.” We defined perfect speech patterns as “pacing” where information flows uninterrupted and in rhythm. Next we solved the puzzle as to why our pets look like our kids and couples look like each other, how our bosses and superiors call the shots and we should only sometimes mirror them, and how women mirror more than men overall.

Why Our Pets Look Like Our Kids And Couples Like Each Other

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Why is it that married men and women look similar to each other? Do we subconsciously choose partners that look like us, or is something else at play? You probably at least suspect by now that some element of body language is involved, and you’d be right. A 1987 study by Zajonc and colleagues from the University of Michigan set out to discover if couples really to look alike and why this is so. They had subjects compare photographs of married couples when they were first married to photographs after twenty-five years of marriage. The results showed that there was an obvious similarity within couples, that is, they looked alike, and it was also found that couples that had greater facial similarity tended to report greater happiness.

When couples live together they begin to look alike, and this trend happens over time, as the researchers discovered, since new couples had less facial similarity than did older couples. This was explained due to the tendency to mirror one another and empathize with our partners emotions. This causes facial musculature to become increasingly more toned in similar areas as our partners. It is these expressions that create wrinkles in specific patterns around the eyes, mouth and forehead, which in turn carve our faces into ones that mirror our spouse. With time, the even the root facial expressions become the norm for each and happen with or without the spouse being present. This phenomenon isn’t isolated to our spouses, it can be found in our children, or anyone else that spend a great of time with us. It has been said that our personality is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Perhaps this also extends to our facial expressions! Mirroring is a very profound force in our lives and we should note and correct our bad habits in our expressions. When greeting your spouse, or children do you smile gleefully or is your face expressionless or worse, does it scowl?

The appearance of our pets is an entirely different matter since animals have very restricted ability to move their faces and the emotions they experience don’t come across to us in the same way that it does with people. So why is it that our pets look like us, but more so like our children? The answer lies in neoteny, for one, and secondly due to selection preference. Pets through extensive breeding tend to have more neotenized features. For example, their eyes are often droopy, their tails and ears lay flat instead of standing erect and they have soft fuzzy fur. Dogs through eons of artificial selection pressure have retained only a select few traits of their wolf ancestors especially in its adult form. Humans much prefer dogs that appear “cute”, play fetch, leap and bound, and wrestle to dogs that attack and kill prey. It should be noted though, that some masters do relate to this type of animal and adopt similar pets. Neoteny explains why dogs look like children, and our interests, purpose, or intention for the dog selects the breed while our own physical appearance influences which dog breed we eventually choose. In other words, we choose dogs in our own unique image and likeness because we relate to them. This is why we find aggressive tattooed owners with pitbulls, dainty pink-loving celebrities with toy dogs or “tea cups” and why tall skinny people choose bigger lengthy dogs like greyhounds.

The Chameleon Effect (Mimicry)

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

It's like looking into the mirror.

It’s like looking into the mirror – and we see ourselves.  This eases our tension.

A term first coined by Chartrand and Bargh in 1999, the “chameleon effect” refers to the unconscious mimicry of postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviours such that one partner in an interaction passively and unintentionally changes his body positions to match that of others. He further describes that this changes are context specific and person specific. There are some key points in this idea. First is that the mirroring happens without conscious awareness, which will become important later as we explore the applications of mirroring. Second, a persons perception of another’s behaviour works to increase the likelihood of it appearing in others.

In other studies it was observed that nonverbal mirroring increased over time within a group of people. Rapport, liking, empathy and group building also increases over time. When students were asked to mirror the nonverbal language of their instructor they reported a stronger sense of involvement with them. It has even been reported that the absence of mirroring can even produce differences amongst people instead of just inhibiting cohesion.

Introduction – Chapter 12

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When people "jive," they are in agreement and this commonality leads to liking.

When people “jive,” they are in agreement and this commonality leads to liking.

Mirroring or “isopraxis” is as important to lifelong friends as to strangers meeting for the first time, since mirroring is a way to test and maintain the level of rapport being established between two people or groups of people. Mirroring as it applies to nonverbal communication describes body postures, body positions and gestures that are held in unison or echoed a few seconds later, across people as they interacting. When full mirroring appears it is as if each person is looking into the mirror and seeing their reflection. When full mirroring happens, it indicates a high level or rapport, or connectivity between people.

We mirror as a form of bonding with one another, and it happens without our conscious awareness. In fact, mirroring is difficult to carry out in a natural way at a conscious level as we will see in this chapter. The evolutionary origins of mirroring might stem from imitative learning, where gestures and movements or skills are passed from one person to another. Children learn to imitate our facial expressions and quickly graduate to imitating our body positions, and then later they imitate us as we carry out tasks. If you’ve even driven with a youngster, you’ve watched them pretend to drive with their arms up, rocking the wheel left and right, or working the stick shift. Imitation has been said to be the greatest form of flattery and in mirroring this is the case.

In ancient times, mirroring would have created group cohesion and identity. Sports groups, riot officers, firemen, and a myriad of occupations all wear the same uniform. It is this dress that formulates the beginnings of the behaviour that eventually leads to a group’s ability to functioning in unison. Imagine if policemen all showed up in different dress and tried to control a crowd. To the rioters, they would seem as if they were rogue rioters themselves which would only exacerbate the problem. The rioters would identify the policemen as part of their group instead of part of the police group, which would only lead to additional chaos.

However, the police know the importance of mirroring, so they arrive with exactly the same gear, dress and comportment. They wave their batons, walk, stomp and chant in unison to display a fortified front. The uniform also serves to identify members of their group and dispel others quickly. A rioter who was able to secure a loose baton wouldn’t last long in the group in the group of police, even if he could adopt the same postures, chants and stomps, because he’d still lack the proper uniform. However, if he could obtain this too, he’d fit right in and would be accepted as part of the group without question. The results of this would be devastating, since his behaviours, no matter how random or unjust, would be tolerated by his “peers”. He could begin to smash windows or beat up other rioters and it would be initially overlooked by his group causing confusion. The uniform, because of mirroring and rapport, provides the rogue officer with additional powers, so he can get away with things that a rioter can not. This extension of power only lasts so long before it would be questioned though, and the same sort of behaviour is present in real life situations as it relates to mirroring. It builds rapport and group cohesion and identifies those that belong to us and fit in with our ideologies, and those that do not. When we are in groups we easily loose our individual mentality in favour of group cohesion. The rioters escalate their terror for the same reason. They are part of a group, identify with it and so adopt similar behaviour.

Mirroring and uniforms do not apply just to the police. In fact, it applies to almost every walk of life, in every office or business across the planet. We act and dress a certain way even when we are relaxing with friends. When we go to concerts we clap, sing, stand, drink and with the right group, listening to right music, may even join a mosh pit with others to slam our bodies together violently to celebrate the music. Mirroring says that we are on the same page. It’s like saying look at the two of us, we walk the same, talk the same and our bodies move in unison, therefore we must agree. Mirroring can cut so deep that breathing, blinking, and even our heart rates can beat in unison. Mirroring is such a profound quality of social animals as a whole. Our cities are built upon our abilities to mirror with row upon row of houses repeating one after the other, all with a small patch of green grass at the front and hopefully a bit more at the back. We all cut it short to make it presentable and to keep up with our neighbours. We compete with others just to fit in and be the same as them. Far from being a bad thing, mirroring creates social order, promotes peace and productivity and leads to cooperation.

Mirroring in rapport building is ubiquitous and serves a purpose but it also finds itself in some peculiar places. Yawning is one of them. Yawning is one of the more pronounced forms of mirroring since it has a contagious element. Yawning in one person sets off a chain of yawns within the rest of a group, even if the members don’t know each other. Picking up a foreign accent or adopting the idiosyncrasies of friends are two forms of subtle mirroring. Full blown mirroring happens when we cross our arms in unison, drink or eat together or even finish each other’s sentences. Twins have been known to connect in such a dramatic fashion that sentence finishing is commonplace and some twins can even begin sentences in unison. Mirroring comes out too in tone of voice, syntax, rhythm and use of pauses. Dancing is another form of pervasive mirroring and without building a connection, dance appear sloppy and uncoordinated. Women might even use it as a selective tool when evaluating potential suitors. If you can’t jive together in a coordinated fashion, can you be expected to raise a family together, what about create a family? Anecdotally, dance has been said to be a reliable predictor of how we perform in bed, so if you prefer a slow passionate dance over a break neck shake, keep this in mind! Let us not leave out facial expressions, emotions and overall mood as a subject to mirroring in others either. This is covered in the pages to follow.

Universal Facial Expressions

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

As discussed in chapter 2, there are six main facial expressions that are found throughout the world. They are happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, anger and disgust. Each expression involves three independent parts of the face, the forehead and eyebrows, the eyes, eyelids and upper part of the nose called the “root” and the lower part of the face including the lower part of the nose, cheeks, chin and mouth. Here is a breakdown of the six facial expressions:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Happiness.

Happiness.

Happiness (smile): The gesture is done by slightly raising the lower eyelids, wrinkles appear below them, crow’s feet may form at the edge of the eye. The mouth lengthens as the corners move out and up. Lips may part to show upper teeth and the cheeks rise and bulge narrowing the eyes and creating wrinkles around the nose and mouth.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Sadness.

Sadness.

Sadness: Sadness is controlled mainly by the mouth where it drops at the corners. The inner eyebrows rise producing a triangular shape between the root of the nose and the eyes. The forehead might show wrinkles and the eyes may appear moist with tears.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Surprise.

Surprise.

Surprise: The eyebrows curve upwards, wrinkles form in the forehead and the whites of the eyes become visible through eye widening. The jaw becomes slack and opens.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

The fear facial expression.

The fear facial expression.

Fear: This expression is sometimes confused with surprise as in much of the world only subtle differences exist. During fear, eyebrows rise and are pulled together, and curve although less than in surprise. Wrinkles appear in the forehead, but do not cross the entire forehead like in the surprised expression. The upper eyelids rise, as in the surprise expression, to expose the white of the eyes and the lower eyelids also rise. The lips may be stretched back and the mouth opened.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Anger

Anger

Anger: In this expression, eyebrows are pulled down and inward and creases form between the eyebrows. The eyes narrow and take on a hard stare. The lips are often tightly clenched and the corners pulled downward. The nose is sometimes flared.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Disgust.

Disgust.

Disgust: This facial expression contains the most meaning in the eyes and the lower face. Here, the lower eyelids rise and lines appear in the skin below them. The cheeks move up, the nose is wrinkled and either the upper lip is raised or both are raised.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Ever thought about why our noses are down-turned rather then some other orientation, such as sideways or facing upward? The answer has nothing to do with preventing rain from falling in! Disgust is a very honest facial expression when it happens because it can happen in microseconds to indicate a particularly distasteful thought. The facial expression is rooted in rejection of spoiled foods which is why a large portion of it involves the nose which is used to detect off-putting scents. To evoke disgust, just imagine the smell or rotting flesh! In real life it instantly causes the nose to snarl and prevents us from stomaching potentially deadly foods.

How Can We Tell If An Emotion Is Faked?

by  • March 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

Being able to tell the difference between real emotions and the body language that follows is a very useful skill in reading people. Being able to detect fake emotions can help us decide who we can trust and who is actually in agreement with us, versus those who are simply faking it. Liars and their body language are covered more extensively later in the book, so it is of no direct concern here. Rather, here we present rules of thumb that help us decide if facial expressions and emotions such as fear, sadness, happiness, shame, guilt and disgust are real and genuine or feigned. Emotional fakery of sadness is used to generate sympathy in order to gain various resources, and fake sadness is used to generate leniency and therefore receive help in the form of favours. Being able to detect real from fake is a useful skill because it gives the body language reader the power to decide what course of action is merited.

So how can we tell if a facial expression is fake versus real? While body language readers can never really know for certain, the face does subconsciously give us some clues that it’s not being honest. For example, a fake emotion is one where there are symmetrical differences between the right and left side of the face. That is, when the left and right side don’t match. A smiling face, where the smile is uneven is a perfect example of a false smile and one that was covered in great detail earlier. The second telltale sign of a fake expression is when it appears and disappears in a jerky, non-fluid manner. This tells us there is doubt and uncertainty. The third cue that an emotion is faked has to do with eye movements and directions. Looking downward and away indicates shame, guilt or disgust, looking down indicates sadness. The final way to detect false emotions is by catching those that seem to be held for too long, or seem over-exaggerated. Expressions that are so big that they are “over-the-top” or seem “out of this world” and don’t flow with context or match timing expectations, meaning they don’t go with what is being said, are more than likely fake.

The fear facial expression.

The fear facial expression.

Sadness.

Sadness.

Other times, emotions are difficult to decipher. For example, when the eyebrows go up, they sometimes indicate fear, but other times they are raised to indicate surprise. Fear is usually shown by showing the whites of the eyes, raising the upper eyelids, raising the inner brow and tightening the eyelid. However it is important to note that raising the inner brow can show sadness, lowering the brow can show anger or mental effort and tightening the eyelid can show anger or disgust.

 

Anger

Anger

Disgust.

Disgust.

Some expressions are only seen very rarely, which is the case with the more extreme expressions making them difficult to study. These facial expressions also happen very quickly, so it’s not always easy to spot them. Usually the expressions are encoded by the viewer in large part to the context in which we find them. For example, jumping out of the bushes and yelling at someone is bound to create a surprised look, but can you decide if a face absent of context shows fear or surprise, what about sadness? It’s not always that easy, but absent of slow motion photography and mind reading, the rules of thumb covered here can make the process simpler and more manageable.