Tag Archive for Facet

The Dominant Control Their Faces

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Extremely dominant individuals will smile far less then subordinate people because their disposition requires them to do so. They don’t want to appear emotional, because emotions stem from feelings and dominant people have none! Of course this isn’t entirely true, they do show emotions, but the emotions they do disclose via facial expressions are limited and usually meant to show that they are reserved and in control.
Dominant people will use disapproving frowns, snarls or pursed lips. They might squint while in conversation, or avoid eye contact altogether, or even hold prolonged unblinking eye contact. Dominant people can also hold a blink for longer periods of time as if to temporarily shut the world out. To disarm this “extended blinker” try moving one step to the side while they are in mid blink. It is sure to freak them out!

To summarize, being social isn’t a huge priority to a dominant person, they are more concerned with maintain control of others around them instead of trying to make friends or maintain strong emotional bonds. Dominant people figure that whatever socialization is will find them so they won’t go looking for it. Obviously, in business and in life certain characteristics held by dominant people are important, but extremities in any facet is nearly always counterproductive. Showing confidence by holding eye contact is important, but maintaining too much eye contact such as what an extremely dominant person might do, such that it sends shivers down the spine, sends the reverse message. It can negate the existence of others as people, turning them into objects, and seem to cut through them.

Ways of responding to dominance is by using more open body language to disarm them. Cutting through their rigidity with jokes and light hearted humour is another great way to put them into a good mood and break their serious attitude. When trying to break dominant people it is important to avoid submitting from the start, instead try to build an equal footing to foster their respect. You can try to out-stare them by looking at the bridge of their nose instead of their eyes, which can really unsettle them. However, fighting fire with fire in this manner is risky, at best, and requires one to put on a possibly uncomfortable show. The safest alternative is to just ignore their negativity and play yourself up as even more friendly trying to find common interests to help build rapport.
Breaking down touch barriers can also help, but again, this is risky. Touching breaks shields down and the most dominant of people will be taken aback unless the touching is warranted and tactfully executed. When you touch a dog, be prepared for the bark!

The Purpose Of Humour, Bonding And Laughing

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

A 1988 study by researcher Holdaway followed British police officers over two years with respect to humour and how it helps maintain social norms within the workplace and build cohesion between officers. Stories and jokes between new recruits and existing members helped transfer attitudes and feelings that were appropriate for the work environment. In essence, humour was use to welcome people in and also instruct them about how things work and what are the office norms. The research found that delivering messages with humour helps do it in a nonthreatening way.

Smiles and laughter are often mentioned in the same breath, but their origins and purpose come from quite different places. The smile stems from an appeasement gesture rather than playfulness as we saw previously while laughter appears to stem from humour. Some recent research shows that this is only one facet of the laugh. Dr. Robert Provine a psychologist from the University of Maryland measured laughs in shopping malls and on sidewalks and found that laughing came at the expense of comments that were far from humorous. Comments such as “I see your point” and “put those cigarettes away” caused people to burst into laughter showing that laughter is more of a way to bond and formulate social relationships then purely as the result of jokes. In fact, only ten to twenty percent of laughter came from anything that even resembled something funny, showing that it is actually the person that is humorous rather than the actual comment. In other words, people were laughing to maintain bonds with the joke teller instead of as a response to the actual joke.

He also found that subordinate people will laugh simply to appease more dominant people, and that dominant people exclude themselves from the laugh so as to maintain their dominance. Controlling laughter therefore, can help control our dominance or submission to others, as well as show our acceptance or rejection of others. Therefore, a polite laugh shows that we are at least “onboard” with a person even though we might not totally agree that what they have said is in fact funny.

Laughter is a form of mirroring and communicates mutual liking and well-being. It can also be used to reduce the harshness of comments or even to take comments back. Humour is an innate vocalization that fosters a sense of community and can help in learning and in creativity. It helps break down walls between different people and can act like a social lubricant to bind people together. Laughter is thirty times more likely to happen in a social setting rather than alone and studies have shown that people don’t really seem to care if the laugh is fake or real, they still tend to like people more when they laugh versus doing nothing at all. Laughing helps us build bonds and even fake laughs help because at least it shows that we are trying.