Tag Archive for Encouragement

Touching Between And Amongst The Sexes

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Touching influences how we feel about people.

Touching influences how we feel about people.

Studies show that touching between men, especially in the workplace, is usually related to power plays and social jostling. An employer will place his hand on the shoulder or back of an employee to reaffirm his status while offering encouragement. Such displays are inappropriate in reverse and wouldn’t usually be tolerated. If touching is well received though, it indicates that strong rapport is being built between the ranks and a promotion might be forthcoming. Men can use touch, as a means to raise their status by initiating it against men of slightly higher status than them. If done tactfully, it can create a leveling effect and force them to reevaluate the rank they have attributed to you. If touching is done incorrectly, it will catch high status individuals off guard producing a negative effect that can be difficult or impossible to correct. Men, overall, rate touching less positively as a rule when compared to women, so touching initiated against men should be sparse.

Touching between men and women often outlines sexual interest and when women touch each other, it is often done out of friendship or to extend sympathy or formulate bonds. Family members also use touching such as hugs and kisses to display affection. Touching comforts are different from person to person and also of different cultures. The kiss hello for example is commonplace in Switzerland, Southern Europe, Latin America and the Mediterranean. It is uncommon in North America, Asia and some of Northern and Western Europe. Localized kiss hellos happens in Miami and Quebec for example and even in regional neighbourhoods such as with Italian or Hispanics. As far as hand holding goes, it is commonplace in the Middle East to symbolize friendship and respect when done between adult men. Even President George Bush was spotted holding Saudi’s crown Prince Abdullah’s hand which scored points with the locals, but became water cooler material for people in the U.S.

Haptics: The Use Of Touch In Communication

by  • March 5, 2013 • 3 Comments

Is this touching on purpose or to gain attention?

Is this touching on purpose or to gain attention?

Haptics is the study of touching and how it is used in communication. Handshakes, holding hands, kissing, back slapping, high fives, brushing up against someone or pats all have meaning. Touching is the most developed sense at birth and formulates our initial views of the world. Touching can be used to sooth, for amusement during play, to flirt, to expressing power and maintaining bonds between people such as with baby and mother. Touching can carry distinct emotions and also show the intensity of those emotions. Touch absent of other cues can signal anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude and sympathy depending on the length and type of touching that is performed. Many factors also contribute to the meaning of touching such as the length of the touch and location on the body in which the touching takes place.

In western cultures touching is infrequent which makes it even more significant when it happens. French and Italians for example, tend to touch frequently even continuously while walking, whereas the British prefer not to touch at all. At sporting events and especially in celebration of victory or success, such as scoring a goal or point, touching among male athletes is permitted whereas in the dressing room, a hands-off policy is the norm. Cultures that accept touching more often are India, Turkey, France, Italy, Greece, Spain, the Middle East, Parts of Asia and Russia whereas no touching cultures includes Germany, Japan, England, United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Estonia, Portugal, Northern Europe and Scandinavia.

In the workplace, touching is fairly uncommon. We therefore use the handshake as a universal form of touching to avoid offending others. More intimate forms of touching sometimes occurs such as a friendly pat on the back to display encouragement but generally speaking, touching at work should be kept to a minimum. We cover cultural differences with respect to touching in a dedicated chapter.