Tag Archive for Double Arm

Summary – Chapter 9

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this chapter we covered defensive and aggressive body language. We found that double arm hug or arm crossing, partial arm crossing, arm gripping, fists and arm clenching, stiff or curved arms, or even cufflinks can be used to signal defensiveness. We learned that objects are used to shield the insecure by affording fewer angles of attack which is the case when we lean against a wall or bar top, hold a drink near our face or against our chest, or hide behind a podium whilst presenting. We discovered that headphones can be great tools for women who don’t want to be bothered, how pens, books, or newspapers indicate division between people and how conversations can be ended or avoided simply by raising a book. We found that other cues such as head bows, looking up to the side or through the forehead, avoiding eye contact, seeking escape routes with darting eyes, or reduce body size among others, show defensiveness.

On the other hand, we cut through defensiveness to study aggression which can include the in-your-face posture characterized by the hands on hips, feet together at attention, leaning forward with the head and chin up or out and exposed. We also saw that an aggressive person might get red in the face, cross or drop their arms to the side and clench their fists, finger point, become tense overall, clamp their jaw, tighten their lips, frown and lower their eyebrows. We learned that a stare lasting ten seconds or longer invokes anxiety and discomfort in subordinates in the ‘unblinking eyes’, and that overstepping boundaries can lead to conflict.

Partial Arm Cross

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

One variation of the partial arm cross.

One variation of the partial arm cross.

This is a typically female posture and happens by holding reaching across the body to grab the opposite elbow in the hand while that arm is left vertically dangling to the side.

A variation of the posture happens by reaching across the body and grab the opposite shoulder rather than the opposite arm. While the double arm huge is a defensive postures, the partial arm cross is a subtle posture that indicates fear, timidity, shyness and lack of self confidence. Both are barrier type postures which protect the core of the body like a shield to signals to others that we don’t wish for them to come close. The origins of the partial arm cross likely stems from the comfort felt by a child who’s hand was held or who’s shoulder was grasped by a parent, when in novel situations.

The posture feels natural and comfortable when in fearful situations because it provides the sensation of being hugged and protected, like having our hand held. It might have a childhood throwback when our parents scooped us up when visiting unfamiliar houses, distant relatives to help sooth us over our fears. While men can be seen to perform this posture, it is much more rare, likely due to their broader shoulders. Men will instead take up the fig leaf position by holding their hand-in-hand to cover their most coveted assets, their genitals.

We see the posture when people meet for the first time, when being singled out of a crowd or any other stressful situation that causes fear. Sometimes this posture is by default as it is with particularly shy individuals who take some time to warm up to other people. To reduce this posture in others and help them ease up, use more submissive body language and tone down dominant language. You might also experiment with acting timid yourself which will help quickly build rapport. It is nearly universal that people feel most confident surrounded by people who similarly match our own self-esteem and ideologies.

Double Arm Hug

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

She might be cold, or she might want to feel protected.

She might be cold, or she might want to feel protected.

Hugging one’s self is a defensive and closed body position. Those who take up this posture invariably exclaim that they are cold, which is sometimes the case, but usually the cold sensation is a function of feeling awkward and uptight. When temperature is actually a factor, the arms will cross and the hands will be tucked under the armpits in effort to heat them up. Other times, the arms will hug the body tightly in a full embrace but they will shiver and hold their legs stiff crossing them tightly as if they need to use the washroom. If these cues are not present, and we still see a double arm hug it’s due to feeling uncomfortable and not feeling cold. By watching for all the cues in the cluster it is easy to tell which attitude is really present.

Those that habitually cross their arms are usually not aware that they are sending a bad message to others. However, arm crossing is a universally defensive posture so it is important to be aware of its use. In a business meeting or in a job interview holding the double arm hug posture will be read by others as being disagreeable even if the person really is cold. This effect might pass over if other’s feel the same chill, but when only one person in the room is seen looking uncomfortable, they will sense that something is up, even if just subconsciously. Those that are timid and shy by nature can also get the short end of the stick as others will quickly dismiss them as rude or antisocial.

When someone complains of feeling cold where the room temperature doesn’t warrant it, is a direct response to a limbic brain command that shunts blood from the skin toward the major muscles in preparation for the fight or flight response. The large muscles like the legs and arm need blood in order to prepare for combat and escape. This is largely in effect when people seem to go pale when under extreme stress and why others lose their apatite when under pressure. Again the blood moves away from the intestines toward the major muscles producing a cold sensation on the surface of the skin as blood moves deeper.