Tag Archive for Dominant Person

Leadership Positions And The Head Of The Table

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When no leader is present, the group will attribute leadership to whomever is sitting at the head of the table.

When no leader is present, the group will attribute leadership to whomever is sitting at the head of the table.  Power trickles down from the head of the table toward the opposite end.  Thus #1 has the most power, #2 the next most and so forth.

Not surprisingly, in studies looking at leadership, it was found that the most dominant person chooses the head of rectangular tables. Interestingly though, when no leader was present, leadership was attributed to the person who sat at the head of the table. Researchers Fred Strodtbeck and Harmon Hook in the early 1960’s found that during jury deliberations people at head positions tended to participate more often and had a greater influence on the decision making process, than people at the sides. This study overlooked whether or not leaders took up the positions though, but this is a likely assumption. However, in other studies it was found that a person’s status played a part in who chooses the head of the table. Those considered high class were much more likely than lower classes to sit at the heads of tables. Who knew money had anything to do with where we sit at a table!

Researchers attribute visibility and the ability to make eye contact with everyone as key features turning heads of tables into leadership positions. For example, one person sitting opposite three others would be seen as the leader, since they would be able to make eye contact with him, but not to each other. He would also be able to indicate his intentions better and therefore control the floor much easier. It should however be noted, that central positions at tables are also important in discussions since it permits ease of conversation amongst all participants through proximity. In other words, it’s hard to talk with someone from across the table, just imagine a “cartoonishly large” corporate sized boardroom! The exception to the head position as leader is when it exposes the back to the doorway. When this happens the head seat is a disadvantage since it leaves whomever open to surprise and attack.

When one person faces three, the person sitting by themselves are seen as the leader. His gaze is focused forward while his companions must head-turn to see and speak with everyone.

When one person faces three, the person sitting by themselves are seen as the leader. His gaze is focused forward while his companions must head-turn to see and speak with everyone.  In this case, #1 has the most power while each of the #2s share power.

Leadership shows a trickle down affect too. If the head of table is deemed the leader, than the person to their immediate side holds the next most powerful position, and so forth. In ancient times, the leader held the head of the table, with his lieutenants at his sides. The person who sits opposite the head, even today, is usually the most task oriented, whereas those sitting in the middle are usually affiliators, normally woman, who wish to interact with the greatest number of people and create active participation with everyone. Another feature of the Steinzor effect states that when a strong leader is present, people will direct comments to the person adjacent the leader more often because it avoids direct eye contact and confrontation with them, which is especially intimidating due to close quarters. When leadership was shared amongst all members, no strong patterns emerge and conversation basically happens freely.

Who Is In Charge Of Mirroring?

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

An employee enters his boss’s office as he has called a meeting to discuss the possibility of a pay raise. The employee sits down and raises his case. He has been there for several years and feels that he is due for some form of compensation for his loyalty. As he states his case, the subordinate employee appropriately mirrors his boss’s subtle nuances, he touches his face when he does and fixes his hair, and leans forward when he does. As the employee hits on a particularly sensitive issue, his overtime commitment, which the boss has been firm about being nearly mandatory for the position, the boss quickly moves back into a full body steeple by leaning back with his hands locked behind his head and crosses his legs in a figure four. What should the employee do? The answer is simple, he should concede this stance to his boss as its obvious through his body language that he’s not willing to let this issue slide. When it comes to mirroring, it is always best to use it for rapport building, and not to induce hostility. The boss wins when it comes to dominance and should the employee mirror his steeple, would suffer, perhaps not immediately but at a subconscious level this body language will grind on his boss. Eventually, and if repeated with consistency, the boss would sense something wasn’t right which might lead to even worse hours or job details. The boss would only perceive his negative feelings about his employee as “dislike” or that “something isn’t quite right.” If the goal was to usurp his position and take his job, the employee might consider mirroring his stance to set an air of equality or superiority. Similarly, two high ranking individuals should mirror each other to signal that they hold similar power and won’t be easily pushed over.

A dominant person always has more choice when it comes to mirroring than less dominant people. A boss that wants to build rapport with his employee can acceptably let his guard down and mirror his actions. This can be particularly handy when the goal is to welcome a new worker whom is particularly tense or nervous. The boss should still refrain from picking up nervous cues, but he should feel welcome to mirror any other gesture. Therefore, when considering the use of mirroring, it is important to note the relative status in the hierarchy. The rule of thumb is that the most dominant individual calls the shots in mirroring, and so long as gestures aren’t dominant displays, others should feel free to follow to successfully build rapport.

The Dominant Control Their Faces

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Extremely dominant individuals will smile far less then subordinate people because their disposition requires them to do so. They don’t want to appear emotional, because emotions stem from feelings and dominant people have none! Of course this isn’t entirely true, they do show emotions, but the emotions they do disclose via facial expressions are limited and usually meant to show that they are reserved and in control.
Dominant people will use disapproving frowns, snarls or pursed lips. They might squint while in conversation, or avoid eye contact altogether, or even hold prolonged unblinking eye contact. Dominant people can also hold a blink for longer periods of time as if to temporarily shut the world out. To disarm this “extended blinker” try moving one step to the side while they are in mid blink. It is sure to freak them out!

To summarize, being social isn’t a huge priority to a dominant person, they are more concerned with maintain control of others around them instead of trying to make friends or maintain strong emotional bonds. Dominant people figure that whatever socialization is will find them so they won’t go looking for it. Obviously, in business and in life certain characteristics held by dominant people are important, but extremities in any facet is nearly always counterproductive. Showing confidence by holding eye contact is important, but maintaining too much eye contact such as what an extremely dominant person might do, such that it sends shivers down the spine, sends the reverse message. It can negate the existence of others as people, turning them into objects, and seem to cut through them.

Ways of responding to dominance is by using more open body language to disarm them. Cutting through their rigidity with jokes and light hearted humour is another great way to put them into a good mood and break their serious attitude. When trying to break dominant people it is important to avoid submitting from the start, instead try to build an equal footing to foster their respect. You can try to out-stare them by looking at the bridge of their nose instead of their eyes, which can really unsettle them. However, fighting fire with fire in this manner is risky, at best, and requires one to put on a possibly uncomfortable show. The safest alternative is to just ignore their negativity and play yourself up as even more friendly trying to find common interests to help build rapport.
Breaking down touch barriers can also help, but again, this is risky. Touching breaks shields down and the most dominant of people will be taken aback unless the touching is warranted and tactfully executed. When you touch a dog, be prepared for the bark!

How To Avoid An Attack Or Speeding Ticket

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

A backward facing cap with open body language means ticket all day long.

A backward facing cap with open body language means ticket all day long.

If you wish to avoid an attack, quickly avert your eyes, pull your head and chin down and draw your shoulders and body inward to make it appear smaller. Submissive postures, like this one, switches off the aggressive attack response in other people. A large part of what provides motivation for those in power, is the power itself and it has been said that those in positions of power want nothing else but more power. So to avoid an attack all we need to do is give them that power, ideally it is in the form of less physical methods. Taking up a submissive posture and admitting guilt is usually enough of a payoff to avoid a speeding ticket at best, or at worst, lessening the amount of punishment that will be received. If asked to step out of the vehicle, keep slouched so as to never reach your full height and don’t completely avoid eye contact, but don’t stare either. Keep reserved, hold your arms and hands across your mid section or in your pockets, but never cross your arms in effort to confront.

A submissive child-like posture leads to protective feelings in others.

A submissive child-like posture leads to protective feelings in others.

Only rarely does a direct confrontation between subordinate and superior individuals lead to a positive outcome for the subordinate since the aim of each must align and only rarely does this happen. Your goal is therefore to produce a situation where the dominant person receives an equal or better outcome, or a weak payout (such as making them feel guilty for giving a nice person a ticket). Affirming ones position against another only leads them to affirm their position further. This completes a never ending cycle that can escalate in short order. By admitting that you are wrong it forces people to mirror this stance causing them to drop their aggression.

If you don’t plan on fighting the ticket in court your best course of action is to vehemently admit your mistakes, and do it repeatedly for effect. The side of the road is not the place to start an argument, that’s what the courts are for, so save it for then. Right now your job is to make the officer feel bad for giving a nice person a ticket so what you want to do is act as if you are an honest, well respected member of the community. Even if you do plan to fight it, you still want to be forgotten so the officer doesn’t go back to his cruiser to jot down notes and begin to mount his court case. If he can’t remember you in court he won’t be able to defend his ticket.

When asked for information, provide it quickly and without hesitation. Avoid “humming” and “haaing” and be as helpful and short as possible, he’s heard all the excuses already so don’t bother getting emotional. The worst you can do is to appear as a threat to his safety by being shifty and moving erratically. When asked for your driver’s license and registration be sure to tell him where they are located and in what order you will give them to him. When reaching in an enclosed compartment like the glove box be sure not to hold eye contact since most attackers look directly into their victims eyes before they assault them. Statistics say that officers are very likely to be assaulted or even killed while on routine traffic stops.

Once you’ve given all the correct body language signals watch for the moment where the officer finally judges that you aren’t a threat. The officer’s body language will become more relaxed and loose and you can begin to address them in a less rigid and formal manner. Cracking jokes is risky, at this point though, since you may put them back into an authoritative position by appearing to belittling the situation. If they seem bent on issuing a ticket though, you may have nothing to lose and easing up might have them lower the fine even at the last moment. If you are persuasive enough and can efficiently built rapport, you may be able to walk the thin line between presenting your case which can be taken as an insult and setting off his dominance triggers.

You wouldn't mess with this chick. Head back spells confidence and authority.

You wouldn’t mess with this chick. Head back spells confidence and authority.

There are other times altogether when showing submission just won’t work to avoid attack. Walking in the city at night is one of them especially for women. Postures such as slumped shoulders, drooping head and a worried face are the postures attackers use to identify easy victims. While placating some attackers might sometimes be appropriate, it won’t work in every situation since every attacker has different motives and while submission postures will help reduce punishment from someone with morals and ethics, it will do nothing to reduce an attack from a criminal who is interested in your pocket money, looking for someone to abduct, or worse. The same has been said for bear attacks. It just so happens that bears, just like people, have different motives depending on their disposition, mood, hunger, sex. Female bears are particularly aggressive when their cubs are present. Therefore, your natural inclination should always be to hold dominant postures first, to fight and run if possible, and only show submission to people whose punishment you are willing to accept. The last thing you want to do is appear as though you’d be easily taken advantage of especially when faced by a stranger. So the default street posture is to keep your head up, shoulders back and a loose body. If someone is going to attack a confident looking person, they’d most likely attack you regardless of your posture, so taking on a confident posture is always the most appropriate in questionable circumstances.