Tag Archive for Boardroom

Leadership Positions And The Head Of The Table

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When no leader is present, the group will attribute leadership to whomever is sitting at the head of the table.

When no leader is present, the group will attribute leadership to whomever is sitting at the head of the table.  Power trickles down from the head of the table toward the opposite end.  Thus #1 has the most power, #2 the next most and so forth.

Not surprisingly, in studies looking at leadership, it was found that the most dominant person chooses the head of rectangular tables. Interestingly though, when no leader was present, leadership was attributed to the person who sat at the head of the table. Researchers Fred Strodtbeck and Harmon Hook in the early 1960’s found that during jury deliberations people at head positions tended to participate more often and had a greater influence on the decision making process, than people at the sides. This study overlooked whether or not leaders took up the positions though, but this is a likely assumption. However, in other studies it was found that a person’s status played a part in who chooses the head of the table. Those considered high class were much more likely than lower classes to sit at the heads of tables. Who knew money had anything to do with where we sit at a table!

Researchers attribute visibility and the ability to make eye contact with everyone as key features turning heads of tables into leadership positions. For example, one person sitting opposite three others would be seen as the leader, since they would be able to make eye contact with him, but not to each other. He would also be able to indicate his intentions better and therefore control the floor much easier. It should however be noted, that central positions at tables are also important in discussions since it permits ease of conversation amongst all participants through proximity. In other words, it’s hard to talk with someone from across the table, just imagine a “cartoonishly large” corporate sized boardroom! The exception to the head position as leader is when it exposes the back to the doorway. When this happens the head seat is a disadvantage since it leaves whomever open to surprise and attack.

When one person faces three, the person sitting by themselves are seen as the leader. His gaze is focused forward while his companions must head-turn to see and speak with everyone.

When one person faces three, the person sitting by themselves are seen as the leader. His gaze is focused forward while his companions must head-turn to see and speak with everyone.  In this case, #1 has the most power while each of the #2s share power.

Leadership shows a trickle down affect too. If the head of table is deemed the leader, than the person to their immediate side holds the next most powerful position, and so forth. In ancient times, the leader held the head of the table, with his lieutenants at his sides. The person who sits opposite the head, even today, is usually the most task oriented, whereas those sitting in the middle are usually affiliators, normally woman, who wish to interact with the greatest number of people and create active participation with everyone. Another feature of the Steinzor effect states that when a strong leader is present, people will direct comments to the person adjacent the leader more often because it avoids direct eye contact and confrontation with them, which is especially intimidating due to close quarters. When leadership was shared amongst all members, no strong patterns emerge and conversation basically happens freely.

How We Know Why We Meet

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

It should be immediately obvious what the true purpose is for meeting based on the type of seating provided. A formal setting that is boardroom-like with status icons means that serious business is at hand, whereas a couch with a coffee table signifies much less urgent matters. When we meet formally, relationship building is not the aim, more casual meetings build relationships, so we should either plan or act accordingly. If the boss calls the meeting, we should know what is up before we even get there so we know what to expect.

Seating arrangements are a big part in how the meeting will transpire. For example, facing one another means that ideas are divisive and that party’s are probably unwilling to change, or if desired we can even foster more competition by artificially creating this arrangement. Perhaps not useful under the average circumstance, but effective non-the-less for lawyers who wish to milk clients dry by stretching out legal disputes! Sitting at forty-five degrees and on the same side means that ideas are informal and group minded where cooperation is sought. Smaller tables create more intimacy and group building, whereas larger tables emphasis more independence and creativity. More of this is covered in the chapter on seating arrangements. For now let’s focus on possible hidden agendas with respect to how we sit.

There are three basic reasons for meeting, they are ‘affiliation’ to build group cohesion, ‘achievement’ to get things done, and ‘power’ to emphasis control. Who calls the meeting and who is in charge will depend on how the meeting will be organized. To go along with the three types of meetings, there are three types of people in business. They are the ‘affiliator’ the ‘achiever’ and the ‘power player’. The affiliator is interested in building relationships, they arrive early and make a point of checking in with everyone and making sure everyone is happy and taken care of. They smile often and make eye contact frequently. They will set up meetings to foster cooperation and will often stay behind to answer any questions. The achiever will arrive on time and won’t want to waste a minute. If he talks before the meeting it will be because it was important and he’ll sit closest the person with the highest rank. They often show up well prepared with note pad, fact sheets, and so forth. They keep time, don’t stray off topic and leave as soon as the meeting is over. The final type, the power player is someone that arrive slightly late, spends most of his time with other leaders, and will try to sit where he can influence the most people possible. This person will also interrupt others more often, and they will stay right until everyone has left so as not to miss something, or miss out on important decisions.

Paying attention to who is running the meetings will tell us the goals of the meetings since not everyone is upfront about their purpose. Each meeting should begin by assessing where they sit, and why, as well as the types of personalities they have. As leaders, we can also manipulate the strengths of those around us for our own success. For example, you can use the affiliator initially and at the end to build group cohesion, the achiever to direct the middle of the meeting to get things done, and finally employ the power player to identify any potential pit-falls or struggles within the group.

Turtling – It’s When The Head Goes Into It’s Shell

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Turtling is a limbic response to confrontation. The head sinks, shoulders shrug, and the body takes on a smaller form to avoid being seen as a threat.

Turtling is a limbic response to confrontation. The head sinks, shoulders shrug, and the body takes on a smaller form to avoid being seen as a threat.

The posture happens as the head seems to sink inside the shoulders, however, what is really happening is that the shoulders are slowly being raised so the neck disappears taking the head with it. It is as if the head is being swallowed by the shoulders. We see this posture when people are uncomfortable, have low confidence about themselves or a topic, have insecurities, feel weak or powerless, ashamed, or are carrying any other negative emotion. It is usually found when someone is centered out on their poor performance. The origins of the head turtle is to protect it from harm. For example, when people hear a very loud bang, they will quickly pull their heads inward and down, and tuck their chins. However, when it is done out of shame, it happens more slowly and deliberately so as to draw even less attention.

It usually happens when people want to appear less significant so they are ignored rather than called on. In business the head duck will occur when subordinates meet with superiors as they try to stand out less and look less significant or when employees wish to be overlooked during status reports at a boardroom meeting. It might also happen in class when the professor is calling on students who don’t have the answers, or when athletes have to walk back in shame to their dressing rooms after losing an important match.

Blocking Behaviour

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

An arm cups a drink and draws in in closer while forming a shield as protection.

An arm cups a drink and draws in in closer while forming a shield as protection.

Blocking is a term used to describe when a person wishes to distance themselves from a distressing stimulus. Blocking is a part of the fight or flight response, and takes the form of the flight element because it creates distance between things we wish to avoid.

“Eye blocking” happens by covering the eyes either wholly or in part. When viewing disturbing images on the movie screen or even in real life, people will bring both hands up to cover their eyes or will bring them to the sides of their eyes like the blinders used on horses to keep them from being distracted. However, in this case the blinders are a nonverbal signal meant to cut something off from view instead of driving focus on them. What is being said is “Oh my dear, I can’t believe what I’m seeing.” Eye blocking is not just limited to things seen, it can be the results of hearing undesirable things as well. Blocking can be abbreviated as when one or both hands come up to rub the eyes, or seem to pinch the eyes from corner to center with just one hand. Other times, the hand comes up and covers the eyes in part, with a partly clustered set of fingers so that view isn’t entirely obstructed. This might appear as though the person is thinking, but no thought is going, just a desire to look away. Blocking can be done by briefly touching one eye with the index and middle finger in response to hearing something negative, by closing the eyelids for a longer than normal duration or more dramatically by closing them tightly in response to hearing some particularly distasteful. Blocking can also be done with books, articles of clothing or any other object.

These legs are interested - note how they are crossed toward rather than away.

These legs are interested – note how they are crossed toward rather than away.

Blocking can happen through the creation distance and also with arms and legs. For example, it is common for people to move away from things, and people they don’t like, and move closer to things and people they do like. We might see distance forming when a particularly bad offer is tabled at a boardroom between competing firms. The contract might be shoved away, or parties might lean away from the table or away from the speaker or the feet might be moved toward the nearest exit. We call this type of body language “distancing language.” The legs might be crossed away from detestable people, so the outer part of the leg cuts off access to the ventral (the vulnerable) part of the body. In an extreme version, the arms can grab the ankle when crossed away so as to lock it in place. This is an unmistakable signal of rejection through it’s denial of access. The hands also display like and dislike. When a couple is in disagreement they will be seen moving their hands away from their spouse, usually off the table and onto their laps and when they agree their hands will be brought back up or moved closer. These sorts of general agreement indicators happen free-flow in real time so they reflect the true sentiment and the stimulus that has caused it.

Environment Plays On Height And Dominance

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Standing up while others are seated instantly creates dominance.

Standing up while others are seated instantly creates dominance.

If your goal is to gain the dominance advantage, but nature dealt you the short stack, there are several ways to use your environment in your favour. One of which is to create a scenario where it is natural to present to a seated audience. Obviously this particular example is more suitable to a boardroom business meeting, but can also be amongst friends by roaming a room, rather than taking a fix seat while entertaining. When created an artificial scenario it would be wise to include ample comfortable seating to provide an incentive for people to plop themselves down. A man might use the standing advantage at a bar to pick up women by waiting for her sit instead of approaching her while she dances. Present to the seated naturally gives you a large height advantage.

This cop knows his game. By keeping the suspect in his car he gains height-authority over him.

This cop knows his game. By keeping the suspect in his car he gains height-authority over him.

Stages by their nature are designed to give power to the speaker. Fewer interruptions from the audience is the direct result of being higher than them. It is very unnatural to address someone with any degree of authority from a lower position and we instinctively know this. If there are height differences and levels about a room, such as split levels or stairs, and your goal it to intimate or dominant someone, then use them. For example, standing on an upper step with your target below you will give you the upper hand every time. Addressing someone taller than you from an elevated position such that their height is negated will make them feel very uncomfortable and uneasy. They aren’t used to playing short stacked and they will probably do their best to rebalance the field in their favour when the opportunity arises. Try this experiment on door-to-door solicitors the next time they interrupt you. First, be sure to use the door as a barrier never quite opening it fully, and never ever invite them in. If you have a glass portion of your door, close the door slightly so as to be speaking through the glass. Ideally this will force them to address you from the next step which will be lower giving you at least a six inch height advantage. This is usually enough to stifle their pitch or at least annoy them. Next close and re-open the door at random intervals. This might seem cruel, but remember you never invited them, so they brought it upon themselves!

While lifts in shoes are out of style for men, there exits shoe brands and inserts that can add up to two inches of height. If you are 5’8”, then two inches can make a big difference in the height game, and put you into or above the average. Women know the power of heels all to well, and should use it to their advantage whenever possible in business and even in dating. The exception though is when the purpose is to build cooperation rather than asserting competence. Women should use heels in dating to set their benchmark height. It is universally recognized that women prefer men to be two to three inches taller than they are. By simply using a heel of that height and eliminating men who don’t stack up, they can immediately thwart unwanted advances. Most men won’t solicit from women taller than they are.

As we saw, forcing others to sit while we stand can helps neutralize height differences, but so too does mutually sitting. If both parties are forced to sit, the advantage is given to those that have the biggest rear ends rather than those with the longest legs. The extra cushion serves to prop them up! The largest differences in heights is largely due to the biggest bones in our bodies which is our legs, not our spines, although they do play a part. Sitting down, takes our legs out of commission. Next we should try to hold good posture and if our company has poor posture, we can negate all or most of the height difference. Sitting on opposite sides of the table negates height differences even further because separation makes it difficult to make the height comparison. The same tactic can be used while standing just by taking a step back.

An advanced, although cruel tactic includes sabotaging others by providing them with lower chairs. It’s not uncommon in the interview process to give prospects unpadded chairs with short legs. When multiple people are present, just claim the tallest chair! A chair with an abnormally tall back commonly used by royalty will make someone appear shorter due to perspective, but will also serve to make them appear more dominant and authoritative.

If presented with a power player who insists on interrupting and talking over you or others especially while seated, play their game. Instead of taking it sitting down, stand up, walk about the room, move away from the situation or move to the opposite side of the desk or table or use misdirection by looking out a window pretending to ponder his position. Each of these actions will unnerve them forcing them to up their game or concede. The simplest and most honest tactic is to hold better, more upright posture, which in and of itself can add inches over people with poor posture. Most people have a bad habit of slouching, so using better posture on its own makes you appear more confident by comparison.

If your objective is to maintain common ground instead of exploiting it, then the best bet it to try to level or lessen height differences instead of exploiting them. Tall women know this all to well, and can be found with poor posture usually because they stand out from the crowd and get teased as teenagers. Unfortunately, instead of walking tall, they hunch up trying to appear subordinate so they fit into the crowd unnoticed. Obviously, tall women who slouch are self-conscious of their height.

This not-withstanding reducing height differences fosters cooperation and reduces tension. Tall people should take notes and reverse all that was said above with respect to exploiting height differences. Most of what was mentioned was methods to use height to manipulate or create power imbalances. If the goal is to achieve cooperation, then we should be careful to try to level height differences instead of maximizing them. We should rarely show submission though, as it can be as disastrous as showing dominance when trying to build cooperation. We never want to appear weak even as we seek common ground.

Avoiding The Eyes

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Avoiding eye contact is usually bad news.

Avoiding eye contact is usually bad news.

The eyes can also signal that someone is closed-off. We turn our heads when we wish to avoid being singled out in a lecture hall or boardroom meeting. To represent a closed attitude we might pull our chins in and tuck our heads down. In theory this is to protect our vulnerable necks from attack so it also indicates and fearful state. When we wish to scold children we make sure they give us full eye contact in order to measures their reaction and to ensure they’ve given us their undivided attention. This trait is culturally specific however, as some parents require that children avoid eye contact precisely for the same reason other parents require it; to show respect for authority.

That being said, a lack of direct eye contact during a conversation is not always to be taken as a negative cue or rejection. Research has shown that concentrating on faces takes a lot of effort so we look away in order to properly analyze what is being said. Looking away is also a signal that we are comfortable with our company because we can safely look away with no risk of being attacked. In other words, looking away shows that we trust those around us. As such, looking away is a “comfort display.” The distinction between rude eye avoidance and a comfort display should be obvious. For example, dropping the eyes in order to focus on picking the dirt from beneath the nails to “preen”, removing lint from clothing while avoiding a topic, or glazing over expressionless in boredom is not the same as looking away during a conversation to focus more deeply.

While this type of eye avoidance is normal and acceptable in casual situations, do avoid it during job interviews as potential employers have noted they prefer candidates to focus on them rather than casting their gaze all over their office as if they own it. In a subordinate dominant situation freely moving eyes leave bad impressions and make potential employees appear disinterested which turn interviewers off.

Body language And Energy displacement

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Tapping a table is a form of energy displacement because it burns extra energy to relieve tension.

Tapping a table is a form of energy displacement because it burns extra energy to relieve tension.

When someone talks about energy displacement and body language they are talking about movements that create relief. Someone that is nervous or excited will find relief in rubbing their legs with their hands called “leg cleansing”, or they might rub their hands together or stroke an object vigorously. Leg cleansing is a gesture that usually goes unnoticed because it happens underneath the table, but an astute observer will see the upper body move serving to give it away. An example of leg cleaning is that of a baseball player that is on deck and getting ready to bat. His hands might be sweaty from the excitement so he rubs his hands on his thighs, soon enough this becomes a habit and he does this every time he comes to bat regardless of whether his hands are sweaty. With repetition he has conditioned himself to seek comfort by performing this gesture. Self touching also produces relaxing chemicals in his body to help him deal with the stress and burns up nervous energy. Self touching isn’t always related to energy displacement although in this case it is. Energy displacement means the same thing as stress motivated energy burning. It is the burning of energy that provides a trickle release that occupies the mind and produces soothing neurochemicals.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control over our anxiety. People who resort to cutting also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control. People who resort to ‘cutting’ also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

Energy displacement isn’t just for athletes, it happens all over the place from the boardroom to the classroom. We see people rubbing their hands together in excitement or wringing their hands showing inner turmoil and in during extreme stress, pacing, or even self inflicted pain such as ear pulling, scratching, or pinching. Energy displacement allows for a controlled release of tension without creating fatigue. Energy displacement is akin to the natural high that is achieved through punishing physical exercise except in this case the endorphin rush comes much less potently but the action still provides a stress reducer.

When a woman suddenly becomes “cold” as a decision gets close in a meeting they might begin by cross their arms and begin to stroke their elbows or forearms. The temperature in the room hasn’t dropping though, what she is feeling is an emotional change creating an uneasy feeling. To sooth herself, she strokes her body and this reminds her of childhood feelings where mom comforted her. A nervous husband who waits outside a delivery room will pace back and forth. His movement gives him something to do and also burns up excess energy. Generally men’s displacement actions will be easier to spot then women’s since they will be more aggressive. Men feel that when something is good, more is better, and take almost everything to extremes. In fact, one of the leading causes of preventable gum disease is brushing the teeth too hard or for too long, and men are often most at fault for this. Women’s postures, on the other hand, will melt into their regular body language and can therefore be harder to spot.

An entire host of gestures can be used for energy displacement and they vary from person to person and culture to culture. Any movement that has no inherent or immediate function and that is done when faced with stress can be called energy displacement. With observation, you can catalog energy displacement cues in family members, friends and even bosses. If you observe energy displacement body language in friends, an appropriate response is to offer comfort, but if it is found in a boss or employee, or during a sale, then it is usually time to back off and give them time to think things over. Allow a stressed out individual some time to reach a conclusion on their own.