Tag Archive for Bad News

Arm Gripping

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Arm gripping is a sign that someone feel insecure.

Arm gripping is a sign that someone feel insecure.

Arm gripping is an arm crossed posture whereby each arm grabs the arm opposite. The hidden meaning it indicates is tension, discomfort, anger or anxiety. This posture shows both negativity and restraint, meaning that a person is fully expecting to face a bad outcome and won’t relax until that news comes and at the same time are holding themselves back from truly expressing their feelings or lashing out. The arms grip each other so they won’t do something regretful. Those waiting for bad news, such as the results from a medical test, or the outcome of risky surgery on a loved one, will carry themselves in this way. Other times it happens as one waits for stressful events or appointments to commence such as seeing the dentist.

It is similar to other forms of self-hugging as it protects the body from exposure and provides comfort, but is also an extreme form of energy is displacement. The physical act of squeezing the arms, even to the point that circulation is cut off from the knuckles making them appear white, is a rudimentary form of mental therapy. Just like some people will run, exercise or do yoga, others will throw and break things to blow off steam. Self inflicted pain, such as arm gripping is no different, it just provides an easy, less destructive method to release nervous energy in measured quantities. Arm gripping isn’t always extreme and violent as sometimes it can go completely unnoticed and appear as simple arm crossing. What gives it away is that the hands wrap around the arms instead of resting on one side and tucked under the other.

Avoiding The Eyes

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Avoiding eye contact is usually bad news.

Avoiding eye contact is usually bad news.

The eyes can also signal that someone is closed-off. We turn our heads when we wish to avoid being singled out in a lecture hall or boardroom meeting. To represent a closed attitude we might pull our chins in and tuck our heads down. In theory this is to protect our vulnerable necks from attack so it also indicates and fearful state. When we wish to scold children we make sure they give us full eye contact in order to measures their reaction and to ensure they’ve given us their undivided attention. This trait is culturally specific however, as some parents require that children avoid eye contact precisely for the same reason other parents require it; to show respect for authority.

That being said, a lack of direct eye contact during a conversation is not always to be taken as a negative cue or rejection. Research has shown that concentrating on faces takes a lot of effort so we look away in order to properly analyze what is being said. Looking away is also a signal that we are comfortable with our company because we can safely look away with no risk of being attacked. In other words, looking away shows that we trust those around us. As such, looking away is a “comfort display.” The distinction between rude eye avoidance and a comfort display should be obvious. For example, dropping the eyes in order to focus on picking the dirt from beneath the nails to “preen”, removing lint from clothing while avoiding a topic, or glazing over expressionless in boredom is not the same as looking away during a conversation to focus more deeply.

While this type of eye avoidance is normal and acceptable in casual situations, do avoid it during job interviews as potential employers have noted they prefer candidates to focus on them rather than casting their gaze all over their office as if they own it. In a subordinate dominant situation freely moving eyes leave bad impressions and make potential employees appear disinterested which turn interviewers off.