Tag Archive for All Sorts

Personal Space And Country Folk

As mentioned, city people require less space than those living in more rural settings. It’s easy to tell if someone is from the city or country by how they choose to greet each other. Waving is commonplace in the country because it can be done at great distance. Neighbours, or passers-by separated by several hundred yards, or more, cannot afford to extend hands for a handshake, nor do they require it. A simple wave of the hand in the country is sufficient and even welcomed. Unbeknownst to the city slicker, a handshake may even raise suspicion or contempt in a rural setting creating all sorts of bad feelings.

Outsiders can often be seen as intruders, as seeming to be selling something or wanting something or up to no good. Those living in the country infrequently come in contact with people they don’t know forcing their personal space zones even larger, by as much as three or more feet.

When approaching someone who resides in rural settings, and where a handshake is welcomed, it is customary to extend your hand forward by bending at the waste and keeping your feet planted. Extending your hand, but keeping your body as far away as possible shows that you respect their need for space. How far forward someone prefers to extend their hand is an indicator of their space requirements. People from the city will often walk forward in attempt to shrink the distance between their acquaintances and in turn end up bending their elbows as they shake. The opposite is found in country folk who will keep their arms straight out to maintain distance. Those that shake hands by thrusting forward are also indicating their need to maintain a larger space buffer. This preference for space provides a useful bit of information which should be noted.

Fashion And Its Meaning

Have you ever thought that a tie resembles a giant downward facing arrow?

Have you ever thought that a tie resembles a giant downward facing arrow?

Clothing is very potent and gives off all sorts of vital information about its wearer and is a language onto itself. Before we even speak with one another, our clothing creates an image about us, it also tells of our sex, age, occupation, origins, social class, personality and beliefs. Clothing can also tell others where we are going as well as what we are about to do. A business suit for example, indicates that one is conducting business or a summer dress indicates that one is on vacation. In other words, clothing provides context.

As a language clothing can be conventional or eccentric, clothing can give off signals about who one wants to be or become. Teenagers place importance on designer clothing so they can impress their friends and fit in, but as we grow older, our shift takes on a more specific role as we tailor our attire to the functions we attend and to the status we want to hold. Imagine showing up at a cocktail party thinking the event was inform and so appearing under-dressed, this can be embarrassing. The reason is of course because we feel that we will be discriminated against or judged as being something we aren’t. Clothing can also set us apart from others in terms of values and the eccentric often have flamboyant clothing to differentiate themselves from others showing that their ideas about life are different than the rest of those around them. Just keep in mind that while you may wish to send one message to a specific group of people in one location, you are passing by many more on the way, each one of which are getting the same message.

How one ‘wears’ what they wear also gives off indicators of their disposition. For example, the uptight employee that does his collar up to the top, or the laid back who fails to properly tighten his neck tie or avoids wearing one at all. Having buttons done up tight as opposed to having and open suite jacket also has meaning. In a tense situation such as a court case, the defendant would be expected to show his serious side so we expect his jacket to be done up tight with a straight tie, whereas the year end office party would create a relaxed atmosphere causing people to loosen up or remove their ties altogether especially as the evening progresses. Having un-pressed pants, dirty shoes or even no shoes, at all provide details of other people’s disposition. Using inappropriately loose or tight clothing can also give us clues as to the nature of the person. Removing a tie midday under a strict dress code indicates that the person is rebellious and defiant or unbuttoning a blouse to show more cleavage could lead to being labeled easy or a seductress. Even wearing casual clothing by superiors can be seen as a power-play. We call this dressing “against the grain” and it gains its full meaning when it is done in a calculated way. The boss, due to his status, can show up in his tennis shoes and shorts – late for a meeting, because it is him that sets the rules and not his employees. Dressing against the grain says, “I’m a powerful person, I make my own rules.”

Certain new policies in new age companies allow more relaxed dress which, not only shows their progressive attitudes and desire to act entrepreneurial, but also the force new age employees are demanding. Dress plays a big part in first and daily impressions and also provides excellent cues to be read in others. To read someone in their entirety and give off the best impressions possible, we should be mindful of the nonverbal cues we give off with respect to dress and also those that are given off by others. Just remember that while judging people by the way they look and being judged for the same is not fair, but very little in life is, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Ignoring nonverbal signal emitted by clothing, piercings, tattoos, chains, baggy pants and dirty worn clothing is a surefire way to alienate and turn people off. Do so at your own peril!

So How Exactly Do The Minds Of Men And Women Differ?

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Neocortex Or Mammalian BrainDr. Gurian believes there are about a hundred structural differences between the male and female brain. Men tend to compartmentalize their communication into smaller parts of the brain and therefore tend to get right down to the issues whereas women’s brains gather a lot more information from different areas of the brain and therefore tend to be more detailed in their conversations. Men also show more activity in mechanical centers of the brain and females show more activity in verbal and emotional centers. These changes happen very early in boys and girls. To a little girl, a doll becomes life-like with desires, feelings, needs or in other words a life, but to a little boy, that same doll is simply an object.

The brain scans of women show that the corpus callosum which handles communication is larger than that of men’s. The corpus callosum is an anatomical part of the brain that is centered between the left and right hemisphere and helps women’s brains “talk” better across each hemisphere. The corpus callosum is a thick collection of nerve fibers that conduct information. In essence, it helps women multi-task by sending information to an fro, from one side to the other to be dissected, disseminated and refabricated as it is put through various brain centers. Men on the other hand tend to move information within the same side of the brain better and tend not to confuse issues with others. Women’s brains easily move from the right side (creative) to the left side (logical) and vice versa, very easily. This is why they often inject all sorts of emotions into their arguments and details into stories whereas men get stuck on the facts and logic and progress from A to B to C. Because of this ease of movement women can perform more operations at the same time, they can pick berries, take care of their young, and discuss camp ethics all at the same time. As it applies to our nonverbal discussion, it means that they can focus on more than just the words being spoken, they can also monitor body language as well.

So what does this all mean? Well, in practical terms, it means that women might have a better natural ability to read people. However, this book isn’t about what’s natural, it is about what can be learned and just about anyone can learn to read body language well, even if they are at an inherent disadvantage.