Chapter 13 – Courtship Signals

The Room Encompassing Glance

Caught in a glance.

Caught in a glance.

The “room encompassing glance” is a body language sequence used to attract the attention of men. It is done subconsciously, yet in a very specific manner, by women who are available and seeking. To begin the sequence, woman look or scan the room, which is usually a club, bar, or other social gathering, containing plenty of likely targets. This first glance serves an assessment purpose to see what is going on, who is about, and to satisfy her curiousity. In other words, it isn’t anything unique as a sexual cue but does serve a sort of “shopping” or browsing purpose. More frequent shopping forays where eyes are cast around the room lasting five to ten seconds begins to have more meaning. This is a woman who is in a seeking phase and really wishes to find a solid target.

If she spots someone she is interested in she will quickly avert her eyes downward, to show that she isn’t a threat and to show submission, and then she will take a second look. This second glance is directed only toward a man of interest and is not cast around the room. It will be short and she will rotate her head twenty-five to forty degrees to the side then look away (usually downward) within about three seconds. Women usually continue this behavior until they meet their target’s eyes. At this point, the target and the woman will hold a mutual gaze lasting about three seconds. If eye contact isn’t met or the man does not properly receive the signal she will continue to repeat eye contact until he gets the idea. Sometimes it will require upwards of four to six times ladies, so be prepared! Eye contact of any kind is usually a signal of interest. On most occasions, this eye contact alone is powerful enough to entice men to approach, but not always.

Above: The room encompassing glance.

The Hip Tilt and Parade, The Hip-To-Waist Radio, Breasts and Buttocks

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed  to seal the deal.  Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed to seal the deal. Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Women naturally have wider hips than men in order to accommodate childbirth and it is the exaggeration of the differences between men and women the makes them sexy. Women emphasize their hips with a walk called the “parade” which happens when a woman walks with exaggerated swinging or rolling of the hips, back arched, stomach flat, breasts protruding, and head held high. Studies show us that women out of committed relationship naturally walk in this manner to attract attention. Out of consciousness the parade is not overt or striking, but now that you understand the characteristics, you can watch for it. Women can also roll their hips while standing drawing attention to their pelvic region. The gesture might be accompanied by a sideways glance and slightly parted wet lips which could be unconsciously exaggerated by saliva or lipstick.

The hip emphasis posture is pervasive in fashion and advertising. We see women slouching to one side forcing their hips out to emphasize their curves, or walk in an exaggerated way, bouncing their hips up and down as if on a pendulum. Picturing this parade or “cat-walk” in the nude and you get the sense that there is an obviously hypnotic purpose to the method. Because the hips move about a center pivot, the eye is drawn front and center to the woman’s genitals which act as a beacon.

The little black dress is a perfect example that emphasizes the hip-to-waist-ratio differences in women. Studies show us over and over again that men prefer a hip-to-waist ratio of about seventy percent. That is, men prefer women who’s waist is thirty percent smaller than their hips. Women on the other hand, prefer men’s hip-to-waist ratio to be about ninety percent or in other words, their hips are only ten percent larger than their waste. This stems from the fact that it makes them better athletes, evolutionarily linked to their ability to catch food. Female athletes, particularly world class runners, also tend to carry low hip-to-waist ratios. Research also tells us that the waist is the last place women tend to add fat so as to preserve the sexiness of their curves. These changes happen rapidly after about age eighteen, where fat is added to the buttocks and legs but stays off the stomach until much later in life at around menopause. Only with great diligence are women able to keep their stomachs flat after their childbearing years. Once again though, after childbirth the area tends to be most resilient to fat deposits and the legs and butt tend to hold the most amount of fat, serving only to further emphasize the hip-waste ratio.

Having said this, digitally altered images and women who naturally carry a higher hip-to-waist ratio, are often seen as even more alluring. It is a play on the minds of men where everything is better if bigger, and if some is good, more is best. When it comes to men, if something is worth doing at all, it’s worth overdoing! The size of women’s breast is a prime example, and came about through evolution specifically to attract and keep the attention of men. Women are rare in the animal kingdom as they have what scientist refer to as permanently swollen breasts, or breasts that are large outside of lactation, and seem to have absolutely no desirable function at all, but as a sexual selection characteristic. Interestingly though, we aren’t alone in terms of exaggeration preferences, for example, mother birds who’s eggs have been swapped for larger ones (of another species), even freakishly large ones, will tend to sit on them longer and more frequently, even sometimes abandoning other eggs in their clutch. So it appears that even mom’s like more of things, especially when some of that things is great, more is seen as greater. Universally however, men do prefer the golden hip-to-waist ratio of seventy percent and tend to prefer a c-cup sized breast which amounts to about five percent of women’s total body mass – if you really want to get technical! The point being that exaggeration tends to mesmerize and sexual body language is no different.

Sexual Hair Play

Women's nearly uniquely long hair is a feature to be exploited in seduction.

Women’s nearly uniquely long hair is a feature to be exploited in seduction.

Hair tossing is done by women to show off their luxurious hair to men. Hair tosses can be done by flicking the hair over the shoulder or away from the face. Hair can be removed from a band and twirled or rolled and placed on top of the head to expose the neck. Other hair signals include running the fingers through the hair to preen it, wrapping the hair around the neck or curling it around the finger. Added sexuality can come with a lip lick or moistening of the lips with lip gloss or adding lip stick to make them appear red and seductive. Having the lips slightly parted as if blowing a small stream of air through them can escalate the cues even more dramatically.

For hair play to be a sexual cue, it will be done in association with eye contact, absent of which might just be a form of soothing auto contact. Eye contact turns a fairly random gesture like touching the hair into one that is directional, meaning the eye contact sends the message to a person of interest. Other times, women use signals to “fish and lure” where signals happen in a more broadstroke fashion, absent of eye contact and direction, sent off into the room at large. These types of signals are done by women out of their conscious awareness by women who are hopefully available, but not always, as a response to inner thoughts and desires, turned into motivators. Women will deny this last fact, but the results speak for themselves by increased male attention. Playing victim by stating male come-ones as unwanted and annoying is naïve at best as the science says that women put out these signals so that men will see them during peek sexual receptivity. I suppose this does give women a case, for while they may have subconscious sexual feelings, they may not wish to act on them, but because of their hardwiring do. However, now that you have read this (as a woman), you are more aware of the underlying reasoning, and so have no more excuses! If women don’t want to be approached, show a cold shoulder, if they want not to be approached by specific men, given them no leads or incentives. Use body language to get the results you want.

Some other examples of hair play in courtship:

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Sexual Hair PlayBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair TwirlBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair PlayBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair Toss 2

Above: Have you ever wondered what the significance of the tie is in male fashion? It’s a giant arrow that points to a man’s crotch! Yes, that’s right — it’s a great, big beacon drawing women’s eyes down from a man’s face to his boys! Getting that out of the way, let’s look at the clip! Here Julie shows interest by playing with her hair. Any motion we do, even subconsciously, serves to draw attention to our features.

The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Childlike Playfulness

This interest posture is hard to miss.

This interest posture is hard to miss.

The forehead bow is a posture done by artificially lowering the head, then looking up at a man from under the eyebrows in a “come hither” fashion. It has roots in the full bow done as a greeting gesture since it exposes the top of the head making it vulnerable to attack. Just like neck and wrist displays, it indicates that trust is present within courtship. It also comes off as a childlike gesture primarily because children are shorter than adults and habitually peer up at them. As we age, we recall these gestures and go back to them when wish to revive juvenile submissive feelings. The opposite to the forehead bow happens by tilting the head back and looking down one’s nose at someone, which is a judgment posture and is seen negatively.

Smiling frequently can sometimes be sexual, but accompanying signals must be cataloged to create certainty. Women will smile for a great variety of reasons and will smile regularly to appease men for no other reason besides habit. Smiling is a natural part of being a woman and while smiling alone is submissive, it doesn’t necessarily indicate sexual interest. Accompanying signals must adjoin smiling for it to be a true sexual signal. If smiling is done over a shoulder, with pouting lips and partly closed eyes, as in the sideways glance, it should be taken as a sexual cue, but absent, should be construed only as a regular appeasement gesture and nothing more.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

The final most common type of submissive signal is childlike playfulness which isn’t a type of posture at all, but it is a form of nonverbal behaviour so it is included here. Stealing a hat, playful teasing, tickling, playing hide and seek or peek-a-boo around objects are forms of play and submission. Acting like a child shows that a person is ready to let their guard down and feel that no threat is present. Threat is a recurring theme as it relates to courtship because a big part of submission is trusting that a man will not abuse the power he is potentially about to be given by a woman. Women begin by providing submission is small doses to see exactly how it is handled. Should she trust him at great lengths without prior history, she will have set herself up for hurt or worse, either emotionally or physically. The act of sex is a risky undertaking for both sexes, but particularly for women, and while we have many ways to reduce the risks in our current society, we still hold the evolutionary hardwiring to fear all possible repercussions.

Above: The “forehead bow” or looking up through the forehead is a childhood throwback where little children would look up at their parents from beneath them. It is a submissive posture that is meant to arouse a caring and kind man, but more importantly, it serves to induce protective feelings from men. The childlike playfulness of the image it portrays is meant to create warm and fussy feelings in men so they are more willing to take care of women. Many more tips and information in the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Wrist And Neck Exposures

The wrist is a vulnerable part of the body, so when it is flashed, we know that our company trusts us.

The wrist is a vulnerable part of the body, so when it is flashed, we know that our company trusts us.

What is sexier than an exposed wrist and neck? Well, almost anything I suppose! While these body parts aren’t inherently sexy on their own, they have roots as visceral responses linked to submissiveness. These two areas of our body contain many nerve endings so are very sensitive. A kissing on the neck can run shivers throughout the body and send a woman into fits. Our wrists, to a degree, but our neck in particular, is an extremely vulnerable part of our bodies which we defend rigorously if attacked and the genes we have as a result of eons of evolutionary history supports this. One well placed bite to the throat by cat like predators instantly immobilizes their prey. In a dating context, women show their trust and willingness to submit to men, by revealing their necks and wrists. You can imagine a woman might seductively remove her long hair by bringing it over to one side, or twisting it around a finger then flexing over flashing her neck. She might tilt her head to the side by dropping her head and bring her hand up to carefully stroke and caress the skin on her neck just lightly, so as to draw a man’s eyes on her. In more over cases, woman can even display sexually by coming so close that the neck invites a kiss.

Stroking the neck is a way women can ramp up sexual flirtation.

Stroking the neck is a way women can ramp up sexual flirtation.

Exposed wrists can come in many forms. They might be revealed in an obvious fashion by placing them on a table with palm up. Added emphasis maybe placed on them by stroking them with a hand or even with the wrist of the opposite arm. Self touching also shows arousal and shows that someone is thinking about being touched, only in this case she is using self touching to satisfy the needs that are currently not being met by the person she fancies. Wrists can be exposed in less obvious ways as well, and these are called wrist flashes. Whenever the palms come up the wrists can flash. Palm flashes are also form of submissiveness and also honesty as we have hit on before. The more flashes, the more interested is delivered. Other incidences of flashes appear as a woman, pulls up a sleeve, plays with her earlobe, or strokes her hair.

Above: While constructing the photographs for the book Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language we ask Julie to show female interest through a neck display. Neck are sensual in dating and attraction because they are full of nerve endings and are vulnerable so when exposed could lead to certain death. While this might not sound sexy in the least, a neck exposure is a signal of the desire to appear subordinate to a more dominant suitor. Neck displays are thus a way of saying that a women is prepared to accept a man. Learn more about sexual body language of women by picking up a copy of the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language today!

Tibial Torsion And Shoulder Shrugs To Appear Childlike

Pigeon toes or 'tibial torsion' is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Pigeon toes or ‘tibial torsion’ is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Another word for “tibial torsion” which is the anatomical term, and one we are more familiar with, is “pigeon toes”. “Pigeon toes” refers to aiming the toes and feet inward at a slight angle reducing their outward profile. The opposite of this posture is toes outward called “splay footed” or “duck footed” which is a military type posture and a signal of dominance, but only relatively speaking. Meaning that any body movement that is meant to, or leads to, the shrinking of the body’s profile where less space is taken up is a submissive cue and where more space is taken up is a dominant cue. So relative to having the toes pointing directly forward, which has no meaning, the toes pointing inward and outward, mean submissiveness and dominance respectively. Women in courtships displays, as we initially outlined, take up submissive displays to attract the attention of men. I have classified this in the same department as shoulder shrugs because they are very similar, perhaps not in their appearance, but in their effect. With all submission signals, the net effect is to create a less threatening profile and to appear more childlike.

Interestingly “tibial torsion” is also a childhood condition where there is actual anatomical inward twisting of the shin bones located between the knee and the ankle causing the feet to turn inward. This condition arises due to the position of the baby in uterus, but is not at all what we are referring to with respect to hidden sexual body language. Tibial torsion in a dating context, performed by women who have no underlying anatomical deformities happens for the purpose of making the body appear smaller and more submissive, rather than due to a medical condition. Medical deformities can also apply to the toes as they point outward or duck footed too, and so are not always indicators of dominance per se.

Shoulder shrugs make the outline of the body much narrower.

Shoulder shrugs make the outline of the body much narrower.

The shoulder shrug is another childlike posture and happens when a woman let’s her guard down. It is often subtle and occurs subconsciously as a small raise of the shoulders and sometimes is accompanied by an eyebrow flash. Other times it is more pronounced and the head lowers or bows in unison with the shrug and is held for some time. Some other related cues of interest include shoulders up, shoulders flexed or shoulders back to flex out the breasts. The head tilted at forty-five degrees, as we have seen in a previous chapter, shows interest in what is being said, but as it relates to courtship also shows sexual interest. In fact the head turned at forty-five degrees is one of the most universally recognized courtship signals especially if it is accompanied with a headbow and eyes cast upwards making batty eye contact.

One last cue, and one that is especially potent, is looking over a raised shoulder. Women do this flirty gesture as they gaze at men of interest. Instead of squaring themselves off and looking straight into his eyes, her body faces away and she looks over the shoulder which seductively teases him. This posture emphasizes the curviness of the shoulder and exposes the vulnerable neck. It is particularly alluring when done by women wearing a strapless outfit!

She Displays Submissively, Sexually, Gets Closer And Builds Rapport

Many sexual cues are submissive in nature - it evokes a protective response in men.

Many sexual cues are submissive in nature – it evokes a protective response in men.

Most sexual signals a woman imparts has some component that is rooted in appearing submissive. A very large part of dating involves relinquishing power to our partners and most often it is the woman who allows herself to be dominated by men, rather than the other way around. You might think that it untrue, that women today share equally or tend to “wear the pants in the household”, and that feminism has equalized the sexes, but if you take the act of sex by itself, absent of whatever else happens in the couple’s dynamic, it is plainly obvious that men dominate the act. Sex, is done by penetrating the women’s vagina with the man’s penis. The very act alone requires her to submit to him, and relationships are no different. Now I do understand that women control the household, some even control the finances, but women still hold and give birth to children and the brain is still hardwired to prefer a dominant man who can assist in raising that child. These points, and not withstanding the myriad of variations with respect to dominance and how it fits into relationships male dominance still holds true for the “norm” – for the average. There’d be no point in talking specifically to couples that use sex in more creative ways that what the human body is naturally equipped for, or couples where women seek the upper hand and wish to be in control at all times, for the exact reason that it is a huge minority. Almost universally, women prefer men who are larger and more dominant in relation to themselves. When women select their mates the seek men who they can respect, and part of this is directly related to his status. When women, and men for that matter, lack respect for their partner, it has a directly influences on their level of happiness and the amount of conflict they endure in their relationships.

The "hands on hips" or hands "akimbo" make men appear larger and more dominant and therefore more sexually attractive.

The “hands on hips” or hands “akimbo” make men appear larger and more dominant and therefore more sexually attractive.

Body size differences between the sexes are a good indicator of how we come together. The average man is universally larger and more muscular than the average woman, which gives us predictive powers of how men and women come together. Nearly in all cases, women choose men who are larger and taller than them, and the research shows this. People are not alone in the sexual dichotomy, as many other species where the male is larger on average come together similarly. In a solid relationship each party is submitting to the needs and desires of the other, which naturally leads into a perpetual negotiation. However, during the initial stages of intimacy, it is the woman who is nearly universally required to submit for sexual intimacy to develop. It is my contention that men require women to submit through their ego and preference, and women crave it in order to set off a visceral response that eventually produces within them a desire to have sex or submit. If men and women can’t get over this initial stage of negotiation, no long term relationship will follow and no partnership, equal or unequal will follow. Therefore, accept it or not, men prefer women that show submissive postures, and as mentioned, I believe that women if allowed to, actually enjoy the submissive process, no matter how archaic it sounds. In other words, there’s nothing sexier to a women than “being swept her off her feet.”

Some of the most common ways to display submissively includes turning the toes in called pigeon toes or “tibial torsion”, shoulder shrugs, exposing the neck or wrists, head tilt, smiling, the forehead bow and childlike playfulness. The second class of signals relates to making a women appear sexier and playing up her sexual aspects. Some of those signals include tossing the hair, tilting the pelvis, the parade, the room encompassing glance, grooming and preening, the leg twine (where the legs are tightly pressed together) and leg crossing, hiking the skirt and or dressing provocatively. The third way to indicate interest are proximity related such as moving closer, pointing and eye contact which is figurative closeness, touching and crossing the legs toward rather than away. The remaining signals are rapport building and are the ones we find most obvious, although as they relate to interest, aren’t as significant. These signals include verbal contact and are less significant because by this time we usually know things are going well, and that interest is present. Echoing and mirroring is also part of sexual body language and is known within this category as “the nonverbal mating dance.” Now that we have cues in loose categories, we can look at them in more detail.

The Most Common Female Sexual Signals

Lip licking can be a cue of sexual interest, but only if other cues are present.  No cue, by itself can be taken to mean any one thing.

Lip licking can be a cue of sexual interest, but only if other cues are present. No cue, by itself can be taken to mean any one thing.

Nearly every motion of the body can be construed sexually, but only properly read as sexual within the right context. Take for example proximity, which can mean interest, but independent of context, means nothing. Getting stuffed into an elevator may lead to accidental touching but this doesn’t mean a girl fancies a guy, but in context with other signals, could mean that she does. She might go out of her way to stand next to him even if the elevator is only partially full, or she might cast intermittent gazes. Unfortunately, these low key signals are often thought to be clear signals of interest by the women who send them. Women figure they’re obvious and overt, and when the man she fancies doesn’t reciprocate, she takes this to mean that he’s disinterested. Even if she gives him the benefit of the doubt she might “ramp” things up a little bit to get him excited by looking up into his eyes and licking her lips making them glossy, but even these subtle hints can pass for normal affect. From these cues alone, should he know what is going on?

The simple answer is, no, he shouldn’t, he needs more obvious clues to discern interest. Maybe she licks her lips regularly, maybe she’s a natural close talker and ignores the personal space of those around her as part of her personality explaining her willingness to stand so close or maybe she’s just a friendly kind of person. Men need concrete reasons to solicit because what women are asking of them is risky and potentially embarrassing. Without “coming over the top” which can than be risky for women, they should offer controlled, directed and continuous signals of interest to test his willingness to pursue. Signals should begin subtly and grow in intensity with the passage of time, especially if the hint isn’t being picked up and there is a strong interest in creating attraction. Women should not assume that just because he doesn’t respond to a smile, that he’s completely without interest. He might be doing his version of being polite, or gentlemanly. Along similar lines, men should resist approaching any and all women, especially those that only put out mild cues. Men should let women dance a little too, as this will raise sexual tension, show that they are worthy as a mate because they aren’t supplicating all over them, and that they have inherent value. This isn’t to say that they should ignore cues altogether, all cues are important to recall, but it does mean that they should resist acting on vague ones.

In this chapter we first we cover the most common sexual signals for women, and then we move onto ways in which men can signal sexually in the pages that follow. For now, let’s look at what women can do to be clear about their sexual interest to men, so as to reap the results they desire, and in the same breath we outline the cues that men should be watchful of in women as cues worthy of pursuit.

It’s A Women’s Job To Attract Attention

Men prefer a direct approach - study the signals, put them out there and men will respond.  Simple.

Men prefer a direct approach – study the signals, put them out there and men will respond. Simple.

Researcher in 1989 by Dr. Monica Moore of the University of Missouri in St Louis conducted a study of how women interacted in public. They specifically examined nonverbal language as it pertained to attracting attention from men. In the study, they followed eighteen to thirty-five year old women in singles bars. In all, she monitored her subjects for fifty-two different kinds of gestures and behaviours so she could relate them back to their effects on others. Some of the cues included, smiling, touching, pouting, skirt hiking, leaning toward males, brushing up against a man with her breasts or body, tossing her hair, gazing such as lowering eyelids, raising and widening eyes, throwing quick glances, flipping or tossing the hair or giggling.

Two interesting results stemmed from the research. One, the flirting was location specific. Most of the flirting happened in singles bars and was virtually non-existent in other locations. The second major finding was that women who signaled most often, where also most often approached by men. However, men that sent out signals in this way, fail miserably at receiving attention from women. In another study, researchers found that up to seventy percent of all courtship is initiated by women and ninety percent of the time, trained observers were able to accurately predict the outcome of interactions that stemmed from overt female behaviour. In this study, observes looked for cues such as upward palm gestures, primping, caressing one’s body with the hand, requesting aid, crossing and uncrossing legs, and exhibiting solitary dance movements. If you think attractiveness of subjects had anything to do with approach, think again. In fact, it’s the frequencies with which these behaviours occurred which had the greatest affect on drawing men in to approach. Attraction is in the eye of the behaviour. More attractive females showing few signals, attract less attention. If it’s your goal to reduce attention, eliminate positive body language. It’s not much more complicated than this.

'Accidental touching' is a subtle and low risk way women can initiate courtship.

‘Accidental touching’ is a subtle and low risk way women can initiate courtship.

Attractiveness plays little or no beneficial part in solicitation, as mentioned above. It has been said that men approach women who are near average or slightly above average most frequently and mathematically this should be obvious. Most men are average looking and it is them who are seeking out average women. Men might gawk at particularly hot women, but they rarely build up the courage to cross their “league” for fear of being rejected (or wasting their time). While average men could approach and possibly succeed in lower leagues, they’d be faced with having to lower their standards. As sad as it is, men and women seek to best maximize the attractiveness of their partners, and in most cases it involves dating someone of similar attractiveness.

Researcher Adam Kendon filmed a kissing couple in 1975 and found that it was the woman’s behaviour, particularly her facial expressions, that regulated and modulated the behaviour of her partner. Other research shows that women also modulate stages of intimacy through their nonverbal body language by allowing or disallowing the breach of stages. Women also tend to control the initiation of conversations between strangers too. For example, when no eye contact is made by the women, others don’t approach or start conversations. So in summary, there really is no excuse, it’s the women’s job to solicit, or reject, as the case may be making it vitally important for both women and men to recognize the signals of sexual solicitation. Next, we do just this!

Why Men Don’t Seem To Get It And Why Women Are Half The Problem

Some men are naturals - the rest of us need to work at it!

Some men are naturals – the rest of us need to work at it!

Research conducted in 2008 by Dr. Coreen Farris of Indiana University shows that men just don’t get it when it comes to sexual signals. Her study had an initial group of both males and females rate images based on four categories (called affect groupings): friendly, sexually interested, sad, or rejecting. From that sample they chose an additional set of eighty men and eighty women to rate the final images into affect groupings once again. A photo was kept if the majority of men and women categorized the picture into the same affect group. The results showed some interesting findings. Men not only mistook non-sexual cues for sexual cues, but they also mistook the sexual cues as non-sexual.

The confusion men have when rating women’s nonverbal sexual signals probably has everything to do with the fact that men have twenty times more testosterone than women and so their perception of the world is viewed through ‘sex-coloured-glasses’. In terms of evolution and efficacy of spreading their seed, this makes sense, even though at times it can lead to unwanted or embarrassing confusion. Because of men’s inability to read cues properly, this chapter is heavily aimed identifying cues that will help men read the signals more precisely. The subtext of the chapter though, is aimed squarely on women to turn them into better deliverers of their true intent so as to avoid unwanted solicitation. In other words, women carry a clear fifty percent share of the fault when it comes to poor courtship cues, as are men in reading them. If women can improve the clearness of their signals, men can, and will respond more appropriately. When it comes to men, a precise, direct signal is best.