Author Archive for Chris Site Author

Echoing And Mirroring Is The Mating Dance

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

We're both "the captain!"

We’re both “the captain!”

So far in this book we have talked about mirroring in terms of building rapport for business and life in general, but the real excitement comes from mirroring in dating. Mirroring in dating is the original “mating dance.” It is a complete synchrony of gestures and movements that seems carefully choreographed, but isn’t. It is so pervasive that it carries through to synchronous breathing and blinking, tone of voice, inflection and pitch, not to mention more obviously gestures like body position and movements such as affect and illustrators, regulators and standing postures. Mirroring is the mechanism that produces fluid dance which is a precursor to the much more intimate dance that happens between the sheets!

Mirroring isn’t a childish copy-cat game, but it is close. A distinction should be made between mirroring and echoing. Echoing happens when gestures and positions are duplicated some time after they first appear, usually within a matter of seconds. Mirroring is done by immediately taking up the same postures, or if facing one another, its mirror opposite. Picture this next example as if the woman and man are both facing head-on, where the woman is on the left and the man on the right. Here a perfect mirror would happen as the inside, or left foot of the woman is up on the foot rest at a bar, with a drink in her right hand, and her left arm resting on the bar top, the man would have his right foot on the foot rest, his drink in his left hand, and his right arm on the bar top. This is full mirroring. If the man pauses in his dialogue and takes a drink and so too does the woman, they will have again mirrored each other. However, if either one pauses for a second, then follows, they will have echoed each other. Other examples in the same scenario include playing with a glass or adjusting foot positions or gestures or touching the face similarly. When complete synchrony is established which can take from minutes to hours (or not at all), we call this the mating dance. I should note too, that echoing can happen up to a minute later and not all gestures are duplicated exactly. Common ground between two people can be extensive, as it is with twins who have a high degree of agreement, or slight when only small agreement is present, and this is reflected in the strength of the dance.

Testing mirroring can be done by simple observation, that is, by being mindful of any following that is done by your object. However, mirroring can also be sped up and manipulated by allowing gestures to be taken up by your partner, then after some time changing them to measure the speed with which the gestures of your partner follows. This tactic is not much different than what happens on the dance floor. Fast music really tells us if we’re on the same page together, and when “dancing without music”, the same effect is present. The more synchrony there is, the stronger the agreement, and the faster positions are adopted. Men and women can both test this out for themselves and will see that when rapport is strong, couples will hurry to stay on top of the dance through its postures.

Mirroring postures in other people, by following their lead can also test interest. To do this, just take on postures similar to your partner and see if they feel comfortable holding them with you. If they change or adopt new postures quickly or seem agitated, you can be sure that they see the two of you as different and that little or no attraction is present. When people disagree, they do their best to appear different, and this is one of the times our guts give us a visceral reaction. When we don’t like someone we do our best to expose our differences rather than our similarities.

Above: Mirroring is an instant way of building or monitoring the connection people have with one another. Yawning for example is a way that even complete strangers feel compelled to mimic. Mirroring-body language helps us gauge what level of agreement is present between people. In our historical past, mirroring each others gestures served to eliminate aggression between people. We use it today in much the same way. Two strangers won’t initially hold the same gestures or will hold closed body language and postures, but as agreements and opinions are expressed the body will show agreement and common ground. In dating, mirroring plays an even more potent role as couples can groove in almost complete synchrony which we call the matting dance. Mirroring therefore, says “Look at me, I’m the same as you, and we both agree”.

Proximity, Pointing And Touching

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity plays a huge factor in dating and anything done to decrease space between tow people is a good signal of attraction. Sometimes, closeness is real, for example a woman might get up and physically move closer to a man, she might move a chair next to him or she might opportunistically take up a position close-by on a sofa. All cues that are important give alternative options to sit. Sometimes too, proximity is figurative such as is the case when women point, or when eyes are cast.

The "pointing knee" happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

The “pointing knee” happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

Touching escalation.

Touching escalation.

Pointing, like eyeing, are ways to bring people close together without actually moving. Both are reliable indicators of where we’d rather be, or who we are thinking about. We can point with our eyes, our toes or feet, or our knees. The pointing knee happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest. This is sometimes also a signal of being relaxed and informal which extends the meaning of the pointing knee. Escape is difficult in this position so when done by a woman it means that she is comfortable around whomever she is with at the time. Dangling a shoe is another informal signal of comfort for the same reason. The pointing knee also shows fleeting glimpses to the inner thigh which can be arousing to men. Leaning in or toward, standing next to someone or even isolating oneself from friends all shows interest when done by women.

Touching is another great signal of attraction even if it happens ‘accidentally’. Women will make a point to brush up against men of interest and as we have seen may groom them if they wish to send a strong message. Have you ever wondered if he or she really likes you? Try accidentally brushing a knee or leg up against someone under the table. If they pull away or turn immediately than it’s due to disinterest, but if it’s embraced and “footsies” ensue then it’s an excellent signal of interest. To make sure the signal is anchored try casting occasional flirty eye contact. This is a signal that can be used by either men or women. When outside of a dating context, the same pulling away will be found so this isn’t limited to courtship. People that hate each other like to maintain as much space as possible and even accidental touching is unwelcome.

Leaving a tie un-straightened can give women an excuse to touch and is a great way to measure interest by men. To send a much more subtle signal of touching an object might take the place of a person. Such is the case with caress the stem of a wine glass, ring, watch or car keys. The back of the hand, the neck, the shoulders, or side of the face can also show interest. Self touching is a way to prepare the body for touching by someone else and also indicates what type of touching women wish to receive. Self-touching is a ‘fix’ that is used to alleviate the symptoms of the desire to be touched, and indicates where a women’s mind is thinking.

Loving Tight Jeans, Short Skirts And Ornamentation Means You’re Shopping

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Dressing sexy is not a sexual invitation by itself, but it does give us clues to the intensions and attitudes present. In most cases, overt cleavage, short skirts and heavy make-up tells us that women are available and shopping. Women who dress sexily all the time appear as non-cues though, because it is just what they do. Their baseline says that nothing new is happening, although it does tell us something about their general baseline, doesn’t it. These women appear “dressy” and always put together, but if we notice extra dressiness, or as we shall see extra frills or “ornamentation” we know she’s probably feeling receptive. Conversely if we see a lack of dressiness, we know that maybe she’s particularly down and unreceptive. The research supports this. Women, at around the time of ovulation, will display more sexually, they will break out their high heels, tend to dance more, talk more suggestively, and even walk differently near ovulation.

In one such study by Martie Haselton and her colleagues of the University of California in 2006 it was found that women chose more revealing outfits, and outfits containing more ornamentation when they were close to their peak fertility. In other words, as women near ovulation, the most fertile phase, they tended to dress “to impress.” This particular study had a panel of judges rate a pair of couples throughout the women’s fertility cycle. This allowed the researchers to create a baseline by which subjects could be compared to themselves. If they noted any differences in dress, they could then correlate it back to their fertility. They found noticeable differences in terms of overt self-grooming and ornamentation especially in terms of choice of dress as women approached their most fertile. They chose tops laced with trim and wore skirts rather than pants. The overall trend was to show more skin. The study also found that men rated women as more attractive when they were in their ovulation cycle.

Other studies show that women are more apt to find dominant men with square jaws and facial hair more attractive during ovulation and even find male body odor less pungent and more tolerable. During their high fertility days, women tend to flirt more often and solicit male attention, or in other words, tend to be more in tune with overall ‘maleness.’ Women are also found to go out more to parties or clubs, and other target rich environments, where they might meet men. No doubt there are many factors that play into how a woman dresses, but when it comes to being seductive, she turns it on when she’s ready to procreate despite what thoughts come into consciousness. While dress alone isn’t a full on invitation to pursue, it does tell us a little bit about what frame of mind a woman is in.

Advertising fertility with overt dress makes sense because women, unlike most animals, fail to advertise their ovulation. This is what scientists call “hidden ovulation” or “concealed ovulation” of which dozens of competing theories try to explain, but of which all fail to do conclusively. One of them says that women hide ovulation to keep men around so they will continue to provide her with resources while she offers sex in exchange. Hidden ovulation is a fascinating topic for discussion, because it is very complex and will likely never be solved. In other animals ovulation or “heat” is prominently advertised. Two such examples include swelling and redness of the genitalia in baboons and the release of pheromones in many animals including cats. However, in humans, even women themselves fail to consciously realize when they are fertile. To be accurate this last point has been disputed by various studies, even by this very section, but the point remains that aside from really trying to tune in, it would go unnoticed by many. The point is that women are rare in the animal kingdom by not prominently signaling fertility as do many other animals. However, this study and this chapter at large, shows us that they have other ways to convey this to men, even if in a more discrete manner.

While women might not be aware of the reason for dressing provocatively, most women are aware of the signals they give off to men, and therefore shouldn’t be surprise to receive additional attention when they show more skin. From a prowling male perspective therefore, it would pay back in dividends to make note of which women dress provocatively and deviate from their baseline and which women wear more frills and glitz. Tight jeans, elaborate decoration and short skirts, not only signal sexuality, but also interest in sex.

Hiking The Skirt And Showing Skin

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The 'skirt hike' happens totally subconsciously. When a woman gets hot and bothered she might begin to play with the bottom of her skirt to show a bit of extra leg.

The ‘skirt hike’ happens totally subconsciously. When a woman gets hot and bothered she might begin to play with the bottom of her skirt to show a bit of extra leg.

The skirt hike is an interesting body language cue because it happens completely subconsciously with little, and usually no awareness at all. It is so subtle though that only those looking specifically for it will actually see it.

The “skirt hike” happens by fingering and play with the bottom ridge of the skirt. Other times, the skirt hike happens in a more pronounced way by grabbing the bottom of the skirt and pulling it up a few inches or more, to reveal more leg. This motion is usually done toward a man of interest and followed by eye contact, but other times like the parade, happens as advertisement of the woman’s availability. If she catches someone else notice this gesture which she isn’t interested in, she will quickly force it back down and break eye contact.

Any gesture like the skirt hike that exposes more skin can be a sexual signal. We are all familiar with the cliché scene in movies where the woman suggestively says that she’ll return in something more comfortable. As always, she reappears in sexy lingerie. Most times, men don’t get such an obvious cue of interest but women still remove clothing to peek interest. Removing a heavy shirt or jacket to be more comfortable, or loosening buttons from a shirt, or even removing shoes or dangling the shoes from the toe, all show comfort at worst, and interest at best. “Shoe play” is also a great indicator of the level of comfort experienced between a man and women and is a way for a woman to get noticed because movement draws attention. Movement is the opposite to the fear-freeze response when people are scared. While in conversation, if the man does something to startle the woman, she’ll pull her shoe back on in short order! It’s also a good way to measure a cold approach because she’ll slip her shoe back on immediately if she doesn’t like the approach. She’ll make her displeasure more salient by slightly or fully turning away, holding a fixed gaze with her friends or across the room or pretend to be distracted. Her movements will also minimize so as to become less noticeable in the hopes that her “male predator” moves onto new prey.

Seated skirt hike.

Seated skirt hike.

'Shoe play' indicates high comfort. Test it by doing something creepy and watch just how fast the shoes go back on in preparation for escape!

‘Shoe play’ indicates high comfort. Test it by doing something creepy and watch just how fast the shoes go back on in preparation for escape!

The Leg Twine And Leg Crossing

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

The leg twine is one of the most appealing sitting positions for women. The posture is done by tightly wrapping one around the other. The result makes the legs appear extremely toned. To produce a sexual cluster that intensifies signals of interest, a woman can place one hand on her thigh, stroke it, and engage in eye contact, and even bat her eyes at her object of affection.

Crossing and uncrossing the legs in the presence of men, especially if done slowly also shows interest, as it exposes the inner thigh which is a very intimate part of the female body. Leaving the legs uncrossed altogether, while sitting or standing, or massaging them so as to draw attention to them, can ramp up a sexual invitation even further. Another leg crossing variation happens when the leg is tucked under the body and sat on with the knee pointing toward her interest. This also leaves the inside of the thigh exposed and is particularly alluring when wearing a skirt, especially a short one!

Legs are often crossed toward a person of interest although this isn’t a hard fast rule. For example, most people have a leg cross preference, and so only find sitting one way or the other to be comfortable. The theory behind leg crossing toward the person we are connecting with stems from the symbolism of the leg as a barrier preventing outside people from entering. Orienting the body and shoulders toward someone has the same effect. However, leaning in with a leg cross to shrink the distance can deliver a much stronger and more reliable message. It is the proximity that produces the real information, rather than the actual leg cross direction. Having the legs spread while sitting or standing isn’t always a positive cue of interest, though sometimes it is, but it always tell us something about the sender.

For the sake of being complete, at the risk of sounding obvious, open legs tells us that a woman is either easy, trying to look that way, or doesn’t realize she’s be improper so is careless about her sitting postures. In other words, legs wide open says she’s a bit sloppy, regardless of her true intention. Woman should always hold good leg crossing postures especially in public and even when trying to attract the attention of men. In most cases, appearing easy or sloppy is not to their benefit, at least to most. With the recent lax in proper manners, I suspect appearing sloppy, or “casual” to use a more political term, is the likely culprit, but legs open can still be tested for easiness by men keen on scoring an easy women. While this all might sound crass, remember that these are the types of signals being sent when women comport themselves in these ways, so it is up to them to change their body postures, as changing the nature of subconscious perceptions is impossible. Those that aren’t reading material on body language, which is a healthy majority, will merely go on instinct, and this instinct will have “easy” written all over it.

Above: The legs speak and they often cross toward their interest. By re-orienting, as she has done, this is an overt signal that Julie is interested and “plugging” into the conversation with Mark. This is a strong indicator of interest. Much more is covered in the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Grooming And Preening

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A woman grooming a man is a good sign that she's trying to keep him looking good for her own benefit.

A woman grooming a man is a good sign that she’s trying to keep him looking good for her own benefit.

Grooming includes smoothing clothing, rearranging attire, rubbing the hands, glancing in a mirror and, applying lipstick, fixing the hair amongst many others. While not a grooming gesture per se, women can also provocatively leave buttons unbuttoned, especially a button-up blouse in effort to peek men’s curiousity. These are all signals of interest within the proper context. We all, men included, groom and preen ourselves in order to appear more presentable and attractive to others. The more concerned we are with our looks, the more it indicates our desire to show off and attract and the timing with which this happens is extremely important because it indicates to us the purpose of the adjustments and whom the fixes are meant for. For example, if a woman appears relaxed in her attire, perhaps wearing comfortable jeans and a sloppy sweat shirt rather than something more “put together”, and stumbles upon someone she feels is attractive, she might begin to panic and hyper groom in effort to minimize whatever damage she figures she has caused to her image. Grooming tells us that she feels his opinion matters which is no different from men. Men will smooth out ties or a shirt, button up a jacket to appear more formal, smooth out their pants or fix their hair.

Grooming gestures become particularly powerful delivered with eye contact too, not just with respect to proximity and visibility. Eye contact for example is an “anchor” for sexual signals as it hooks the signal to a particular target. Grooming absent of a target and hence eye contact, might mean, either, the desire to attract in general as we saw in the “parade” where women are just acting like magnets to see what sticks, or else a superficial desire to appear put together for it’s own sake. Grooming and preening can also be done on other people to indicate interest. A woman might pluck some imaginary lint from a man’s clothing that she fancies, while another she detests might go an entire evening with food stuck to the side of his face. She might also fix a man’s hair, straighten and adjust clothing or rub his back, all methods of showing interest. The touching and proximity that comes as a result of grooming is not just incidental, it’s the driving force. Touching is a strong indicator of interest especially when initiated by a woman.

Above: Preening gestures indicate that a woman is preparing herself for someone else to touch her but when a woman plucks some imaginary lint from a man’s clothing she’s probably interested. She might also fix a man’s hair, straighten and adjust clothing or rub a man’s back to show interest. Back touching, scratching and massaging is an evolutionary throwback when we used to have totally hairy bodies and removing tics would have been a major hygienic necessity. It’s where “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” came from. Regardless, touching and close proximity when done by a woman to a man, can be taken as a strong sign of sexual interest. Learn how to build a proper foundation for dating and attraction by reading the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language!

The Room Encompassing Glance

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Caught in a glance.

Caught in a glance.

The “room encompassing glance” is a body language sequence used to attract the attention of men. It is done subconsciously, yet in a very specific manner, by women who are available and seeking. To begin the sequence, woman look or scan the room, which is usually a club, bar, or other social gathering, containing plenty of likely targets. This first glance serves an assessment purpose to see what is going on, who is about, and to satisfy her curiousity. In other words, it isn’t anything unique as a sexual cue but does serve a sort of “shopping” or browsing purpose. More frequent shopping forays where eyes are cast around the room lasting five to ten seconds begins to have more meaning. This is a woman who is in a seeking phase and really wishes to find a solid target.

If she spots someone she is interested in she will quickly avert her eyes downward, to show that she isn’t a threat and to show submission, and then she will take a second look. This second glance is directed only toward a man of interest and is not cast around the room. It will be short and she will rotate her head twenty-five to forty degrees to the side then look away (usually downward) within about three seconds. Women usually continue this behavior until they meet their target’s eyes. At this point, the target and the woman will hold a mutual gaze lasting about three seconds. If eye contact isn’t met or the man does not properly receive the signal she will continue to repeat eye contact until he gets the idea. Sometimes it will require upwards of four to six times ladies, so be prepared! Eye contact of any kind is usually a signal of interest. On most occasions, this eye contact alone is powerful enough to entice men to approach, but not always.

Above: The room encompassing glance.

The Hip Tilt and Parade, The Hip-To-Waist Radio, Breasts and Buttocks

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed to seal the deal. Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed to seal the deal. Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Women naturally have wider hips than men in order to accommodate childbirth and it is the exaggeration of the differences between men and women the makes them sexy. Women emphasize their hips with a walk called the “parade” which happens when a woman walks with exaggerated swinging or rolling of the hips, back arched, stomach flat, breasts protruding, and head held high. Studies show us that women out of committed relationship naturally walk in this manner to attract attention. Out of consciousness the parade is not overt or striking, but now that you understand the characteristics, you can watch for it. Women can also roll their hips while standing drawing attention to their pelvic region. The gesture might be accompanied by a sideways glance and slightly parted wet lips which could be unconsciously exaggerated by saliva or lipstick.

The hip emphasis posture is pervasive in fashion and advertising. We see women slouching to one side forcing their hips out to emphasize their curves, or walk in an exaggerated way, bouncing their hips up and down as if on a pendulum. Picturing this parade or “cat-walk” in the nude and you get the sense that there is an obviously hypnotic purpose to the method. Because the hips move about a center pivot, the eye is drawn front and center to the woman’s genitals which act as a beacon.

The little black dress is a perfect example that emphasizes the hip-to-waist-ratio differences in women. Studies show us over and over again that men prefer a hip-to-waist ratio of about seventy percent. That is, men prefer women who’s waist is thirty percent smaller than their hips. Women on the other hand, prefer men’s hip-to-waist ratio to be about ninety percent or in other words, their hips are only ten percent larger than their waste. This stems from the fact that it makes them better athletes, evolutionarily linked to their ability to catch food. Female athletes, particularly world class runners, also tend to carry low hip-to-waist ratios. Research also tells us that the waist is the last place women tend to add fat so as to preserve the sexiness of their curves. These changes happen rapidly after about age eighteen, where fat is added to the buttocks and legs but stays off the stomach until much later in life at around menopause. Only with great diligence are women able to keep their stomachs flat after their childbearing years. Once again though, after childbirth the area tends to be most resilient to fat deposits and the legs and butt tend to hold the most amount of fat, serving only to further emphasize the hip-waste ratio.

Having said this, digitally altered images and women who naturally carry a higher hip-to-waist ratio, are often seen as even more alluring. It is a play on the minds of men where everything is better if bigger, and if some is good, more is best. When it comes to men, if something is worth doing at all, it’s worth overdoing! The size of women’s breast is a prime example, and came about through evolution specifically to attract and keep the attention of men. Women are rare in the animal kingdom as they have what scientist refer to as permanently swollen breasts, or breasts that are large outside of lactation, and seem to have absolutely no desirable function at all, but as a sexual selection characteristic. Interestingly though, we aren’t alone in terms of exaggeration preferences, for example, mother birds who’s eggs have been swapped for larger ones (of another species), even freakishly large ones, will tend to sit on them longer and more frequently, even sometimes abandoning other eggs in their clutch. So it appears that even mom’s like more of things, especially when some of that things is great, more is seen as greater. Universally however, men do prefer the golden hip-to-waist ratio of seventy percent and tend to prefer a c-cup sized breast which amounts to about five percent of women’s total body mass – if you really want to get technical! The point being that exaggeration tends to mesmerize and sexual body language is no different.

Sexual Hair Play

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Women's nearly uniquely long hair is a feature to be exploited in seduction.

Women’s nearly uniquely long hair is a feature to be exploited in seduction.

Hair tossing is done by women to show off their luxurious hair to men. Hair tosses can be done by flicking the hair over the shoulder or away from the face. Hair can be removed from a band and twirled or rolled and placed on top of the head to expose the neck. Other hair signals include running the fingers through the hair to preen it, wrapping the hair around the neck or curling it around the finger. Added sexuality can come with a lip lick or moistening of the lips with lip gloss or adding lip stick to make them appear red and seductive. Having the lips slightly parted as if blowing a small stream of air through them can escalate the cues even more dramatically.

For hair play to be a sexual cue, it will be done in association with eye contact, absent of which might just be a form of soothing auto contact. Eye contact turns a fairly random gesture like touching the hair into one that is directional, meaning the eye contact sends the message to a person of interest. Other times, women use signals to “fish and lure” where signals happen in a more broadstroke fashion, absent of eye contact and direction, sent off into the room at large. These types of signals are done by women out of their conscious awareness by women who are hopefully available, but not always, as a response to inner thoughts and desires, turned into motivators. Women will deny this last fact, but the results speak for themselves by increased male attention. Playing victim by stating male come-ones as unwanted and annoying is naïve at best as the science says that women put out these signals so that men will see them during peek sexual receptivity. I suppose this does give women a case, for while they may have subconscious sexual feelings, they may not wish to act on them, but because of their hardwiring do. However, now that you have read this (as a woman), you are more aware of the underlying reasoning, and so have no more excuses! If women don’t want to be approached, show a cold shoulder, if they want not to be approached by specific men, given them no leads or incentives. Use body language to get the results you want.

Some other examples of hair play in courtship:

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Sexual Hair PlayBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair TwirlBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair PlayBodyLanguageProjectCom - Hair Toss 2

Above: Have you ever wondered what the significance of the tie is in male fashion? It’s a giant arrow that points to a man’s crotch! Yes, that’s right — it’s a great, big beacon drawing women’s eyes down from a man’s face to his boys! Getting that out of the way, let’s look at the clip! Here Julie shows interest by playing with her hair. Any motion we do, even subconsciously, serves to draw attention to our features.

The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Childlike Playfulness

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This interest posture is hard to miss.

This interest posture is hard to miss.

The forehead bow is a posture done by artificially lowering the head, then looking up at a man from under the eyebrows in a “come hither” fashion. It has roots in the full bow done as a greeting gesture since it exposes the top of the head making it vulnerable to attack. Just like neck and wrist displays, it indicates that trust is present within courtship. It also comes off as a childlike gesture primarily because children are shorter than adults and habitually peer up at them. As we age, we recall these gestures and go back to them when wish to revive juvenile submissive feelings. The opposite to the forehead bow happens by tilting the head back and looking down one’s nose at someone, which is a judgment posture and is seen negatively.

Smiling frequently can sometimes be sexual, but accompanying signals must be cataloged to create certainty. Women will smile for a great variety of reasons and will smile regularly to appease men for no other reason besides habit. Smiling is a natural part of being a woman and while smiling alone is submissive, it doesn’t necessarily indicate sexual interest. Accompanying signals must adjoin smiling for it to be a true sexual signal. If smiling is done over a shoulder, with pouting lips and partly closed eyes, as in the sideways glance, it should be taken as a sexual cue, but absent, should be construed only as a regular appeasement gesture and nothing more.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

The final most common type of submissive signal is childlike playfulness which isn’t a type of posture at all, but it is a form of nonverbal behaviour so it is included here. Stealing a hat, playful teasing, tickling, playing hide and seek or peek-a-boo around objects are forms of play and submission. Acting like a child shows that a person is ready to let their guard down and feel that no threat is present. Threat is a recurring theme as it relates to courtship because a big part of submission is trusting that a man will not abuse the power he is potentially about to be given by a woman. Women begin by providing submission is small doses to see exactly how it is handled. Should she trust him at great lengths without prior history, she will have set herself up for hurt or worse, either emotionally or physically. The act of sex is a risky undertaking for both sexes, but particularly for women, and while we have many ways to reduce the risks in our current society, we still hold the evolutionary hardwiring to fear all possible repercussions.

Above: The “forehead bow” or looking up through the forehead is a childhood throwback where little children would look up at their parents from beneath them. It is a submissive posture that is meant to arouse a caring and kind man, but more importantly, it serves to induce protective feelings from men. The childlike playfulness of the image it portrays is meant to create warm and fussy feelings in men so they are more willing to take care of women. Many more tips and information in the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.