Body Language of The Arm Over The Shoulder
Cue: Arm Over The Shoulder.
Synonym(s): Shoulder Embrace.
Description: The arm is tossed over the shoulder of a friend, relative, business partner, or a date.
In One Sentence: The hand over the shoulder of another is a display of ownership.
How To Use it: Use this cue to signal dominance, control and ownership of another person. The signal can also be used to demonstrate friendship, intimacy or camaraderie. Toss your arm over another person to build friendships and trust through connectivity. Usually touching between people is reserved for high ranking people against low ranking people, or people of the same rank, so be careful how you use touching in relationships. An arm over the shoulder is particularly risky as it uses a palm down hand orientation which is dominant coupled with weight placed over the shoulders of another which is to metaphorically “push someone down.” If this is tolerated, you can assume that they are willing to “bear the weight of your friendship.” Thus, the arm over the shoulder can test friendships and desire for submission at the same time. You may experiment with this in dating (man tossing arm over the shoulder of a woman) or to test rank between friends. High ranking people will be able to use this signal with more liberty than low ranking people.
Context: a) Friendly b) Business c) Courtship
Verbal Translation: “I like you as a friend and buddy.”
Variant: A hand might be placed on the forearm, hand, or shoulder of another, to show less intimacy but still connectivity. Elderly ladies will do this when trying to connect with younger people as they work to maintain their attention.
Variant: See Hip Embrace, Full Body Hug.
Cue In Action: a) Dad and his son were joking around together. He threw his arm over his shoulder and pulled him in for a quick hug. b) An arm is tossed over the shoulder with a quick squeeze as business partners meet over beer. c) Intimate couples walk shoulder to shoulder.
Meaning and/or Motivation: The arm over the shoulder is a friendly type gesture signifying camaraderie, but also some low level of intimacy depending on the context.
The shoulder embrace might occur between adult men, or between a mother and her child, and is therefore non-sexual, non-intimate in nature.
Cue Cluster: N/A
Body Language Category: Comfort body language, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Ownership gesture, Rapport or rapport building.
Resources:
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