How to be an Alpha Male like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Sean Connery, and Bruce Willis. Other notable Alpha Males: Gene Simmons, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Colin Farrell, Robbie Williams, James Dean, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crow, Harrison Ford, Richard Branson, Pierce Brosnan, Mark Wahlberg, Will Smith, Elvis Presley.
What are the most common traits held by alpha males like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Sean Connery, and Bruce Willis? It’s the key to opening women naturally, without words, isn’t it? So what is the secret? What does their body language say?
The way in which we hold our bodies speaks volumes about our inner thoughts and also about our accomplishments. Not only this, but it indicates to others our history as well as our future potential. Women find men who have natural value more attractive. Value has many dimensions though. To some it means social value, to others it might mean monetary value, and to younger girls it might mean potential value as they wade through boys that could eventually aid them in raising children. A man who holds himself in awkward positions is someone who, more often than not, has poor self esteem and poor social value. Through life, his accomplishments and the way he has been treated have broken his spirit. What most people don’t consider is that a man’s history is revealed through his postures and body language. Alpha men are confident because their accomplishments in life have raised their esteem. It naturally follows that men with good body language have stood the test of life and, through its challenges, have been able to come out with shoulders back and head up.
So what can be done if life has beaten you silly? Is it still possible to fake the language? The answer is both yes and no. While the generalities of body language can be faked, the subtleties cannot. To experienced body language readers there will appear some incongruencies. While the majority of the body might hold great cues, there will be times when the body leaks unwanted information. For example, under pressure the arms might tend to come in and cross the mid-point of the body and form a closed body position. These postures might even occur while relaxed as our bodies find a comfortable way to hold themselves. With time they become forced habit and we no longer consciously think about what these postures mean to others. The face can also give plenty of information away with small ticks and twitches.
Theoretically the mind of an alpha male has been conditioned through time to believe that he can do no wrong. But of course, there is no perfect man. This point is vital to understand if we are to begin modifying ourselves and our body language. I haven’t yet met one person who is totally comfortable in his skin and lacks the desire to impress his peers or seek validation from others. The human condition is social and, by that nature, everyone is also naturally fragile. Everyone’s esteem is built on the current foundation established by his peers and accomplishments. The objective here is to avoid trying to achieve a non-existent perfection to try to get a little bit closer to our goals. If what we are doing now isn’t getting us closer, we should take steps to change.
First, eliminate ‘beta male’ body language that includes fidgeting, slouching the shoulders, putting hands in pockets, crossing arms, wringing the hands, and touching or scratching the face or neck without purpose. Make your movements more planned, deliberate, and purposeful. Leaning in too much is a big fault most men make. Leaning back will force others to engage you instead of the other way around. Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status. You should also talk slowly and deliberately and minimally. Alpha men speak slowly, almost carefully. They choose their words wisely and avoid fillers such as “ummm” and “ahhh.” When speaking, keep your torso relatively still and level and use your arms and hands to punctuate your points. It’s nearly universal that dominant men are less jumpy and more controlled than beta men. Speaking in a calm voice demonstrates confidence. It shows that you are not concerned that someone is going to cut you off and run the show. Speaking less frequently places more importance on fewer words, so naturally, select them carefully. You can also inject more pauses in your speech and therefore control people and leave them wanting. Pauses in speech place emphasis on certain words and create drama and excitement. It is this characteristic that indicates to others that you are in control; that you are alpha.
Don’t be afraid to use negative body language when people do things you don’t like. If they start on you don’t be afraid to turn your back or cross your arms. You shouldn’t be afraid to scorn people who scorn you. Being a pushover is not a great stance. At the same time, display honest and genuine interest and try to build others around you up and make them work for your approval. Most everyone has a sore spot for validation and if you are a root to their confidence, then they will seek you for approval giving you the power.
Second, work on your inner thoughts. What are you telling yourself? What kind of dialogue is taking place and how is it tied to your body language? Catch yourself at any moment and ask yourself why you are holding such a pose. What emotion is your body language tied to? When your arms or legs cross is it because you are bored or uncomfortable or is it for some other reason? When you talk through your hand at a restaurant with an elbow on the table, is it because you are protecting and guarding your face from attack? Have you ever seen Brad Pitt talk through his hand? Discover the roots of your body language so you can work on the inner thoughts that control it.
Another indication of what is going on inside is your dress. Dressing for status is a great idea because through body language it helps others formulate a positive first impression. Women love to see shiny new expensive shoes. Cleanly pressed shirts and pants or casual wear that appears expensive will get your foot in the door every time. Definitely don’t over dress, but don’t under dress either. Always try to pick your clothing to best suit the environment that you’ll be in. An expensive piece of jewelry such as a watch can be a great accessory and you can always add an item that can help people start a conversation with you, such as a unique hat, or any other item that helps to define you but would otherwise be uncommonly seen.
Third, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Replace nervousness with exhilaration and welcome the emotion instead of trying to repress it. Don’t be afraid to have peoples’ eyes on you. In fact, you should command that they notice you. Stand away from crutch objects like chairs or bars tops, and allow yourself to stand free of inanimate objects. Don’t be afraid to move freely in your environment instead of sitting still at a defined post. Make the entire room your territory and explore every bit of it, all the while remembering to stay loose and open, inviting others into your personal space. Far too often we will navigate an environment, find our niche area, then not move for the entire night. This is a mistake, as another part of the room might hold untapped spoils.
Fourth, act relaxed at all times. Dominant men are at ease no matter where they are. It doesn’t affect them to be in front of a crowd or alone at a bar. In fact, being alone and confident will attract attention from others. Being relaxed means that your eyes aren’t shifting about the room as if the cops are about to burst in and bring you down at any moment. As people move about the room, don’t be afraid to have a look, but also refrain from snapping your head around or staring at others. If with other people, simply acknowledge others moving about you or those joining your group, then resume your conversation. It is not necessary to stop what you are doing to recognize other people nearby, especially attractive women, as this attention places far more importance on them than deserved. Remember to control breathing, keep it relaxed and calm. Your face should be relaxed as well, with enjoyment being the dominant emotion. Don’t be afraid to flash a smile or nod your head to strangers. Keeping the palms up and visible will show others that you are open and honest. Don’t be afraid to initiate touching. Touching is almost always done by the more dominant man over the less dominant and, when it is between men, it indicates a power struggle. Be the first to touch on the shoulder or the safe zone, which is the area between the elbow and the hand on women. Touching shows that you are at a higher level than others around you, and when done to women, it indicates that you can handle being in control.
Keep all motions deliberate and purposeful. If you have an itch, alleviate it, but do it as if it is planned. Move slowly and scratch only that part of the face or neck where the itch is present, then return your hands to their resting position. Don’t be afraid to take up space and extend your arms or legs while seated. This posture shouldn’t be overly exaggerated, but you shouldn’t feel compressed either. Feel free to be as relaxed as you would be in your own living room. Be sure not to come off as offensive though, and this means not placing your arms behind your neck, which can seem arrogant. By all means avoid becoming the annoying alpha, however – the one who takes up too much space and appears too loud and annoying. The consequences of such a stance are just as disastrous as being a beta male.
When called upon, be either the first to move or the last. You should be calling the shots for others around you. Alpha males are always predicting the next move of the group based on their perceived desires, and so it seems as though they are calling the shots, when in reality they are simply playing into the most probable next move of the group. A secret too is to always appear busy or constrained for time. Busy people are important people so show up a tad late and make people wait. This shows dominance over others. If others make you wait, allow them to settle themselves, and once this happens ask them to pardon you while you finish up a last minute task forcing them to wait for you. Ask them to give you a few moments to get ready. This can really put others in their place.
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While the attitude of the alpha male stems from the inside out, working on outer body language can have a profound impact on the thoughts and feelings we harbour inside our minds. Simply by holding an open and honest body with palms up leads us to hold positive and open thoughts. Placing the hands on the hips readies us for action and also makes us appear larger and in control. Leaning back disengages us from a conversation and forces us to relax. Holding dominant body positions will lead one to feel more dominant, but the inner self will necessarily need to follow to make the presence complete.
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