Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction And Sexual Body Language

Image 9031: Dave’s approach is more in tune with what will make a woman feel comfortable.  He has performed a semi or full circle of the room, Scarlet has noticed him and made eye contact, and he has slowly moved in to speak with her.  Dave shows that he is a bit timid by keeping his hands in his pockets.  Scarlet’s body language is slightly defensive as we would expect from an initial meeting.  Her right arm is crossed over her body and holding her left elbow forming a barrier to protect herself.  Her legs are also crossed which is a closed body position.  She is smiling, however, showing that she is comfortable in the situation.

Image 9025

So Dave found Scarlett attractive and felt compelled to break her away from the dialogue she was having with her girlfriend.  The problem lies not in his confidence to approach her; he has done well to get this far.  The problem lies in the approach itself; it is all wrong.  He came in from behind her, startled her, and put her on a defensive.  Dave should have made a big enough half circle and perhaps made brief eye contact, or at least given her the chance to view him, before coming over.  He could have gone in front of her and ordered a drink first so she would have had the opportunity to assess him as he has had to assess her.  A man should always come in from in front of a woman and in plain sight.  At the same time, he should avoid coming in directly toward her like a hunter on his prey.  Once a dialogue is established the man should then move to the side and continue the conversation.  Scarlett’s body language is all negative.  She is leaning away from Dave with her arms and legs crossed in defense.

Image 9046: When a woman is interested in a man, she will normally approach from behind or from the side, as portrayed here.  Scarlett will most likely slowly move to the front and continue the conversation face to face, especially if she likes Dave.  A man normally sees a woman that comes straight in as a threat, so prefers to be approached from the side.  The more a woman turns to face you, the more interested she is.

Image 9104: Dave is doing something that no one should.  He is blocking Scarlett in and cutting off her exits.  In this photograph, he is completely blocking her in, but it could very well happen partially with one arm or with another body part such as a leg.  Dave is eliciting negative body language from Scarlett.  She is moving her head backwards and away and I suspect if she had the chance, she would exit the situation altogether.  If he refuses to move, she’ll probably knee him in the crotch.

Image 9108: Hopefully Scarlett’s actions are done in a flirtatious manner and quite likely this is so.  She is making a playful face.  However, Dave doesn’t seem to appreciate being blocked in and up against the bar.  Scarlett is playing a dominant role here which could mean she is trying to control the situation.

Image 9783: Accepting touching or allowing a man to enter into intimate space is a sure sign of attraction by a woman.  Any space closer than about 18 inches would be considered an intimate distance.  Dave is furthering his advances by touching Scarlett’s hand which is one of the first areas a woman will permit a man to touch

Image 0941: Accidental touching is a form of flirting.

Image 1019: Mark demonstrates a poor approach on a woman.  He should have moved to the front of the chair where he would have been able to approach in plain sight.  From this position, he has taken Julie by surprise and even if he could establish a dialogue it wouldn’t likely go very far since she hasn’t had time to assess whether or not there exists any attraction.  He should have let her see him before randomly approaching her.

Image 8585: Either the man or woman can use objects to invade into the other’s personal space.  Scarlett is using a spoon in conversation to cross the imaginary halfway line between her and Dave.  Pens, food, or any other item can be used in this way.  A woman might even leave objects such as clothing at a man’s apartment.  In this way, she could be using it as an excuse to visit again, especially if it is done repeatedly.  If Dave performed this tactic on her and her body language changed to a closed position, it would be a signal that the advance was unwelcome.

Image 8883: Scarlett is showing signs of opening up.  She is removing an article of clothing.  She is comfortable enough with Dave to show him that she is in no hurry to leave and is also revealing more skin, which is always a good sign.

Image 9419: Scarlett is clearly interested in Dave and is showing this through proximity.  You may not notice that she has her breast pushed up against him, but Dave does!  It hasn’t happened by accident either.  Scarlett is trying to send Dave a strong message of interest.  Grabbing the belt loop is also added into the equation to further show interest and intimacy.

Image 9571: This is a very intimate handshake.  In performing this handshake, Dave is pulling Scarlett into him slightly and Scarlett is cooperating nicely.  She has an erect posture, her legs are open, and she even has her left hand reaching for her lap to steady herself so she can move into Dave even more.  On a first introduction, things look good for Dave.  If one is keen on the study of body language, they will also notice that she has puckered her lips, which is a signal that she may be interested in a kiss at some point throughout the night.  Her eyes are also cast toward his face, and quite likely at his mouth, furthering the intimacy.

Image 9426: It is probably not a random event that Scarlett is tickling Dave.  She is most likely using this touching to signal her interest.  By this time, either Dave has gotten the hint and isn’t interested, or he has missed all the other hints and Scarlett is escalating her signals to drive the point home.  Surprisingly, some men would still take this as simple playfulness, which occasionally it is.  However, if you find the girl attractive then you should feel confident in accepting that she finds you attractive in return.

Image 9381: All touching establishes closeness and intimacy.  Especially when initiated by a woman, it is a sign of sexual interest.  Touching also normally indicates that someone wants something from you.  In this case, it is pretty obvious that Scarlett desires attention from Dave.

Image 0954: Julie is bumping against Mark to make her presence known.  She may back away after this contact and may then expect him to begin his pursuit.

Image 0973: Mark thinks that Julie is bumping up against him by accident but her grooming gesture and eye contact say otherwise.  He may be missing the signals.

Image 9071: Height differences should never be exploited by any party.  This is especially true when one party is sitting and one is standing.  However, when both parties are standing, the difference in height can be used advantageously.  Dave is a few inches taller than Scarlett, so he can use this to arouse her and appear more dominant.  Women normally like to feel secure and protected, and when a man is taller than they are, it gives them the sense that they will receive that protection in their company.  Therefore, this height difference is welcome, but towering over someone to put them down or rule over them won’t serve your purpose in attraction.

Image 8562: Touching is always a good positive signal even if it’s “accidental.”

Image 9406: Accidental (or is it incidental) touching is a great sign of interest.  Based on the proximity this pair has, it is not surprising that touching has occurred.  Normally, a woman won’t be overt with her signals.  This form of touching is safe and foolproof for the woman and can be used by her to influence Dave into pursuing her.  Women often leave the risky and dangerous work, as well as the pursuit, to men.

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Christopher Philip, Author.

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