We have beta launched our nonverbal dictionary and will accept any input into making it better for our readers. It is completely free to use and catalogs all (most) of the body language signals and the lexicon that goes along with reading people. There are well over 500 terms already, and naturally, with the scope of the topic that likely encompasses over 1,000 terms in my estimation, if peripheral terms are included, it is incomplete. This is primarily why we need outside help to grow the word base as it is a nearly impossible job for just a few people to tackle. However, having said this, as far as we are aware, this dictionary is the most inclusive of terms related to the subject in the world. Correct us if we are wrong, and we’ll just grow to surpass them!

You can suggest terms in the comments section or e-mail us directly and we’ll add it to our growing list. When you do write us, there’s no need to define the word yourself, unless you are into that sort of thing! So please enjoy the database and the images, and please help us spread the word. We always appreciate it when links to our pages are seeded across the Internet. No doubt, other people will find the information useful too!

Here is a link to the main page of the dictionary, enjoy.

http://www.bodylanguageproject.com/dictionary/

Martin Dobrovodsky

You’re kissing your girlfriend deeply and passionately, when suddenly you wonder: how did kissing begin?  Okay, okay, that’s probably the last thing you’d be wondering at that moment … but maybe you’re wondering now.  Well, in How Did Sex Begin?, R. Brasch goes into some of the views about the origin of this very intimate show of affection.  It is thought to have begun way back when there were just unicellular organisms.  The sexual union of these organisms involved the linking of their “mouths” in order to exchange hereditary nuclei. 

(avoiding a kiss)

The practice in humans is traced back to primitive times, when mothers premasticated food in their mouths before transferring it to the mouths of their babies by means of a “kiss.” From here, kissing developed into a show of familial affection.  But it wasn’t until the sixth century – in what is now France, not surprisingly – that society accepted kissing as a way for adults to express their love and affection for one another (And the rest, as they say, is kiss-story).  A more recent theory about the purpose of kissing suggests that it is a way of gauging your partner’s fidelity.  For instance, if you notice that your girlfriend isn’t kissing you as passionately as she used to, you might suspect that she’s been locking lips with someone else.  Even more telling would be the taste of someone else on her lips.  As for the appeal of kissing, Brasch suggests that it has to do with the fact that, of all parts of the body, only the mouth is able to taste and feel at the same time.  Also, he says, it recalls the nourishment of suckling at a mother’s breast.

(puckering is a nonverbal kiss indicator)

If you want to learn more about body language in dating, be sure to check out the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Christopher Philip

So I’ve been asked which mediums permit examining and studying body language best.  The clear answer is in everyday life.  Television, movies and still photos depict an interpretation of natural body language, it isn’t natural body language and it never will be.  In our books we take great pains to have the body language look natural and un-forced, but it’s still just an imitation of what we see in real life and a characterization of what I think body language looks like.

Sometimes when we shoot the images, the captions end up totally different from what we had originally intended for the photograph, simply for the reason that our models didn’t convey the feelings we requested of them.  It is of no fault to them, it is just that body language is so fluid and complex that it’s part of the nature of the business.  So instead of re-shooting the images, I just caption them to reflect what is actually depicted rather than what was first intended.  Even good actors who star in movies and on television will use “cartoonish” imitations of nonverbal language so they can be easily identified by the audience.  In other words, they exaggerate their expressions to suite the scene and ignore minor movements and microexpressions that flash across the face in seconds during real life situations.

(“real life” nonverbal communication)

When we shoot for the book, we can come close to a true depiction, but the thoughts and emotions that create the body language have to come from the subconscious to be totally honest.  However, once you’ve seen an example, even a rough one, of some contrived body language, it becomes a lot easier to spot the cues in real life because even real life depictions vary from person to person and within context.  Our minds have an excellent ability to categorize things and is able to do so remarkably fast, so putting open and closed body language or dominant and submissive postures into order is simple for most people.

Some sources of body language to sharpen your skills include courtroom shows and in a pinch shows like “Cops.”  These will help read lying body language and aggression indicators as well as some open and closed language.  However, even in these shows people understand that they are “on” so their fluidity changes drastically.  In the heat of the moment they will act more honestly, but once adrenaline subsides they will eye the video camera indicating that they know it’s there, which mutes what would come naturally.  If you have ever tried to videotape an infant doing something cute or coy, you know exactly what I mean.  Even small children become fascinated by an extra eye on them and begin to shift their focus almost immediately to the camera.  In television, you won’t get a huge variation in body language since people aren’t acting as they naturally would, rather they are acting as an actor would, and since all good actors follow scripts and take orders from similar types, all nonverbal language in the media appears similar.  In fact, I’m often surprised by how poorly the nonverbal messages are delivered and if actors are reading this, would encourage them to learn how to use, not just the noticeable cues, but the smaller (micro) ones too.

Watch people in real life, either from a distance or up close while interacting with them, as this is your best bet to really learn body language.

I remember back over a decade when I first started to learn about body language so I could get better results in dating!  I really wanted to learn how to read women better so it could help me read their minds.  While this position the matter was naive at best – since women still confuse me, I did learn a lot about reading people in general, so studying body language does serve a useful purpose!  Body language opened up a whole new world that still fascinates me to this day.

If you want to learn more about body language in dating, be sure to check out the Ebook The Body Language Project: The Only Book On Body Language That Everybody Needs to Read.

Help us track down thieves! If you are aware of sites, forums or other mediums of exchange who are using or selling our images, text or PDF’s without our consent, please let us know. I have already been made aware of several forums who distribute the real version along with virus laden material designed to corrupt and disable your computer.

In order to continue to offer the services we do, it is paramount that we limit theft and we can’t be everywhere at once. If you know of torrents and so forth, please e-mail us, or leave a comment at the bottom of this post. We love doing what we do, but the only way we can continue is if the laws are respected!

Thanks.

The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language

The Body Language Project is the culmination of a decade of personal research including a thorough review of over 60 primary scientific research journal articles. In dating and attraction, body language forms the perfect foundation. If you are only picking up on what is being said, you are missing more than half of the message. It is pinnacle that you understand the subconscious as it is often much more reliable than spoken words. Don’t miss the signals, and don’t be left wondering and guessing.

Christopher Philip

I have a tenant with a massive scary barking dog but I’ve learned how to defeat him with body language!  It’s much more common for children to get attacked by dogs than for adults primarily because they don’t understand how to avoid eye contact.  In other words, they haven’t learned to avert their eyes from an enemy, nor are they big enough to intimidate them.  To a dog, a child appears as both a threat because they make eye contact and as easy prey due to their size.  Eye contact can trigger an attack response in animals so when being confronted, you’re much better off to look down and away, instead of staring a beady-eyed dog or even a bear dead smack in their eyes.  Head down and away, shoulders brought in to appear smaller, with arms pulled in, are all ways to avoid setting off an attack response. These submissive postures apply for more than just animal attacks, they also apply to bosses who wish to reprimand, family who wish to start disputes, or thugs in bars looking for fisticuffs.

When I approach the doorway and the tenants aren’t home, the dog will bark and growl fearlessly which is the total opposite to what happens when the owners are home where he’s pleasant and even affectionate.  When the owners are home he will even follow me around and seek to be pet.  However, when they aren’t home and I need to tend to something, he barks persistently, growls and snarls preventing me from entering.  The more I intrude into the house, the more aggressive his posture becomes.  In the past, I’ve tried talking calmly to him, opening the door slowly and giving him treats, but nothing works.

One day though I decided to run a little nonverbal experiment when I needed to get in to do an inspection.  On all previous occasions I would tried to keep the dog in the house to prevent him from running away, but this time I decided to turn the tables and use the laws of territoriality to my advantage.  Instead of entering his territory, I instead invited him into mine.  That is, I asked him to first come outside, just by one step before entering his space.   I knew there was little risk of him taking off since I was just about to enter his space, if he permitted, so he would want to usher me in so as to protect his domain.  When I opened the storm door, he as usual, started barking and snarling, but then I opened the door even more and instead of encroaching on him, I pulled backward and gave him some space.  The dog took a few steps forward onto the patio then nudged up against my leg as he turned around and re-entered the house with me.  Because I respected the dog’s personal territory and followed the rules of territoriality, he not only permitted me to enter, but even welcomed me.  Once inside, his guard was let down and his aggressive actions subsided.

Can this type of body language work on aggression when found in people as well?  Try it for yourself.  Defeat aggressive neighbours by inviting them over for a drink and snacks and see how quickly their attitudes will change.  Using the right body language can also be useful to avoid fist fights at the pub and speeding tickets!  Read more in Body Language Project: The Only Book On Body Language That Everybody Needs To Read.

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!

Christopher Philip

A useful way to appreciate how body language works and to make it appear more logical in our minds is to picture specific body language postures as they would appear if the person were nude. This is especially important since the cues have evolved under these circumstances. For example, take legs crossed versus uncrossed. How would legs spread wide open appear on a woman? How about on a man? What about a person with their legs uncrossed with their hands up behind their head slouched down in a chair? This would most certainly come across as a dominant and an in-your-face kind of posture. Now imagine this very same posture coming from an arrogant boss if he was completely nude with his genitals fully exposed!  What if he played on height differences, for example, by him standing and you sitting while he encroached into your workspace serving to display his genitals just inches away from you?  What kind of message would be sent?

(photo of the “fig leaf” posture)

While our clothing masks some of the offensiveness of these postures, the meaning is still relevant because both the postures and their meaning evolved without clothing.  Picturing people naked can also help when reading timid body language.  For example, imagine the “fig leaf” posture where the hands are cupped together or interlaced and placed over the midsection or genitals so as to cover them from exposure. 
This happens with clothes on, but our minds are hardwired to act as if we are nude and when we feel shame, guilt, timidity or shyness we cover our most vulnerable parts, whereas when we feel confident, happy, and comfortable we fully expose ourselves to the world.  Women can also be seen holding books or articles of clothing that have been removed over their chests to hide their breasts from others, especially creepy men.  The 70’s movie cliché made it nearly universal to expect women to walk around campus this way.

So next time you want to read people you feel are arrogant or timid, imagine how the posture would appear nude.  Are they covering their private areas or are they exposing them?

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!

Christopher Philip

So you’re standing there like a complete tool at the bar and the hottest chick you’ve ever seen walks in looking sexy as all-get-out.  What can you do to get her to acknowledge your existence besides pick your nose or let out a gigantic gaseous fart?  Well fortunately for you the Body Language Project is here to smack you upside the head a bit to adjust your body language so at least you can get her to smack her lips and bat her eyes in your direction.  You pick up what I’m dropping?

So here are the top 10 signals men can give off to signal sexual interest.

She’ll know you’re interested when you:

1. Hold the cowboy pose and point to your crotch

2. Play peek-a-boo with her

3. Groom yourself and make eye contact with her

4. Use relaxed and open body postures

5. Hold eye contact with her showing admiration while smiling

6. Flash your eyebrows

7. Appear to be having fun with friends

8. Show disinterested body language to induce her to chase you

9. Give her the head drop

10. Hold an even posture with both feet planted

11. Take up space

(click image to enlarge)

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!

Christopher Philip

We’ve all seen them do it, but sometimes we’re too stupid to realize what’s going on.  She spots us and does some funny gesture or signal, or she stares too long or some other fishy thing with her hair.  What’s she trying to say?  Well dumb ass, she’s telling you that she’s interested.  Thankfully, the Body Language Project is here to smack you upside the head a bit so you get the hint straight away next time.  You pick up what I’m dropping?

So here are the top 10 signals women give off to signal sexual interest.

You know she’s interested when she:

Plays with her hair

1. Makes frequent eye contact
2. Makes it a point to stand close to you
3. Grooms you or herself
4. Points to you with her fingers or toes
5. Displays seductively for you
6. Teases you or steals your hat
7. Crosses her legs toward you
8. Mirrors or echoes your movements
9. Makes a point of touching you

(click image to enlarge)

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!

(Video courtesy of the Fordham athletic department) WFUV’s Gregg Caserta on the call.)

Watch the video of Fordham’s Brian Kownacki leap the catcher to score in the win against Iona!  Amazing on its own, but what, if any, nonverbal language can we read from the video?  Actually, there’s a lot going on here about dishonest and non committed body language, most notably from the catcher.  You’ve seen the video, but without reviewing it, could you decide if the catcher really did tag the runner?  What does the catcher do to indicate his case?  His case, by the way, is made from the moment he motions to tag.  After leaping, the catcher quickly turns around and tries to track the runner down.  Why would he do this?  Obviously, it is because he knows he hasn’t made the tag and goes for a second try.

The second obvious clue to his failed case is that he uses an uncommitted upward motion to indicate how he tagged the runner.  He pulls his arms upward in a lax way, as if he’s not really trying.  He puts no emphasis in his motion, his arms are loose and non-committed, and instead of emphasizing his tag over and over again and defy gravity with exuberance as an honest person would, his arms seem to form an arching or rainbow motion and come back down.  This is typical of someone who is lying.  They simply fail to commit to their case.  The coach does his job well though by coming out arms flailing all over the place gesturing with enthusiasm.  What separates the coach and the player is very obvious, the catcher knows he hasn’t made the tag, the coach doesn’t.  What does the catcher do next?  He quietly exits to the dug-out because he knows he didn’t make the tag!  His exit is another example of a lack of commitment.  Honest people gesture over and over again, commit to their case, and take the time to correct misinterpretations no matter how long it takes.

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!

Christopher Philip

Power hungry cops often let their relative positions in society go to their head only to find out that their perceived strength only invited harm as a direct result of being met by challenge.  Police officers that fail to heed this warning will eventually come against a thug willing to test them, and it won’t end up pretty, either for the officer or the thug, whomever loses the struggle and if you ask me, a cop trying to make his job even harder than it needs to be is a total fool.  So having said this, neither party will win, but morally thugs won’t care, just taking the challenge is reward enough.  Here’s what I’m talking about.

Mark from Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language E-book looking all cop like!

Buy it NOW!

Novice undercover cops always give themselves away, even after dropping their uniforms for street clothes because they forget to drop their other nonverbal language as well; their body language.  Arms akimbo which is done by placing the arms on the hips and aiming the fingers forward toward the crotch is a dominant posture that draws attention to a man’s penis.  This is the giveaway for the undercover guy and has been noted as their cue to reading cops as reported by numerous criminals.  It’s always the way the guy walks and talks that gives the under-copper away.

Now what about the fully suited, gun in tote, and bullet proof vested guy?  Well, it’s the same message that says “I’m in charge her, I’ll take over, do what I say.”  In realty, cops need to be problem solvers, not problem creators or problem ‘exacerbaters’ and need to show less dominant challenging body language so as not to agitate potentially aggressive suspects.  They need to create calm and speak in quiet voices, only when permitting of course.  When someone crosses the threshold of sanity and decides physical force is what they choose to do, then all bets are off.  However up until this point, especially when handling a domestic dispute, they should drop arms akimbo as it is only those in authority that carry this posture and only rarely found in the general population.  Officers should also not block doorways by propping themselves up, especially when the homeowners are present.  This is a powerful territorial display and invites challenge and aggression.  Until they’ve laid charges, respect should be given to the territory of others.

The text and images are provided to you by www.BodyLanguageProject.com and are not to be reprinted or posted without prior written consent by the author. We take our copyright seriously. If you would like to use or reprint any material on this site, please contact us with your information including the website you intend to use it on, along with all pertinent details. In most cases, we will be more than happy to oblige!