How To Be A Good Wife Or Girlfriend And How Feminism Destroyed Girl Game – Part II
So finally, here are a few ways to develop “girl game.” As you read, be watchful for these typically feminine qualities: Manners/politeness, sweetness, gentle, sensitivity, reserved, caring, empathic, compassionate, tolerance, submissiveness, quiet, sexually appealing, and most importantly nurturing.
What will be the currency by which your man will be compensated? Will it be sex, food, nurturing, love? Something else? Just being around? Remember that being a wife or girlfriend is a job description, it caries responsibilities and skills like any other occupation. And let’s forget about all the romance clichés while we are at it, life just doesn’t work that way. It’s more of a trade relationship, women get something, men get something. Some of those things might be romance, but it’s the end-game of a relationship – there simply is no “happily ever after.”
Men will accept touching, good stimulating conversation, compliments, praise, sex, and most importantly, prestige. Men want to be the center of a woman’s world, he wants to be her God. He wants to be perpetually in the moment when he decided to commit to her, when she was happy to see him, full of life, lusting over him – his girlfriend.
We forget what makes a lady. It’s having class and manners. When women say “thank you” to their husband or boyfriend it goes a long way. Women should try not to be late or keep him waiting, as this can be viewed as an attempt at control. The ultimate form of respect is to wait for him – be early, show eagerness. Manners include being kind, smiling, avoid swearing, showing gratefulness, and hospitality. If women disagree, that’s fine, but don’t whisper things under your breath while walking away, or screech at him, say it directly and with respect. When women behave ladylike, they command special treatment. If woman expect chivalry (and they do no matter what they say) they must act worthy of it. They must act as the prize.
Staying In Shape
Men are highly visual and when a woman lets herself go, it’s taken as a personal insult – as if he’s not worthy of someone attractive. Now it’s not important to look like a supermodel, but putting on 50 pounds is excessive. He’s with you because he expected you to stay more or less the same weight and shape as when he decided to commit. Working out for 30 minutes a day will go a long way to show him that you care about yourself, your health, and what he thinks about you. If all else fails, at least accept your body and get over it. As women get older it’s naturally to show wrinkles, rolls and stretch marks, men get that, but they aren’t concerned about those natural limitations, they just want to know that you’re trying to look your best for him. And there’s nothing worse that a woman who puts herself down everyday about things she could easily resolve with some exercise and self control.
Do you grimace when you see him? Is your smile a little bit crooked (faked)? He knows and he mirrors what he sees around him. If his primary motivator in life is in the dumps, he feels like it’s his problem, and also his responsibility to fix it – even when he knows he can’t. Start by smiling more, a big warm smile. If your day sucked, don’t put it on him, at least show him that you are relieved to see him. If he didn’t screw up your day and can’t fix it, burdening him with your problems, isn’t of any use. Keep in mind that men are designed to be problem solvers, if you don’t want men to do something, then shoving that crap into his brain will only cause unnecessary stress. Yes you can confide in him, but don’t make your problems, his. Touch him, massage his shoulders, give him a peck on the cheek and a squeeze. Hug him more tightly than usual and press your hips against his – squeeze his buttocks and grope him for an unmistakable signal – but only if you plan to follow through on your sexual suggestion. By this time, he might be so turned off by your lack of femininity that he may no longer trust your affection.
To ramp things up a bit, pretend to have the energy of an eighteen-year-old again, be coy, tilt your head as if you are interested in what he’s saying, or preen yourself for him. Rub up against him “accidentally”, put your butt in his crotch and then pull away. Toss your hair, look over your shoulder and play things up. If you’re not used to all this, start slowly over a period of time or he’s going to wonder what kind of drugs you’re on. Be suggestive; let a thong slip up the back of your jeans when at home doing laundry, leave sexy undies (the uncomfortable kind) in plain view as an outfit for the next day so he knows what to imagine.
Wear clothing that is too revealing inside your own house specifically for him especially when doing chores or cooking. Every man is different, just tailor your outfit for his tastes. Men are highly visual and highly receptive to nonverbal communication even if they don’t know the exact cues. Don’t forget to be obvious, men don’t always catch your drift so if the message is not received, it’s usually because he never noticed to begin with, so just escalate. Often men will be cautious due to being previously rejected. Every time a woman says “no” it’s like a dagger that is never removed. When he risks rejection, he remembers not to repeat it. This is why he needs women to have the integrity required to follow through with her signals, and not reject or control by backing out.
Women think that men are responsible for making the first move, but men need something to work with. They need a hint – provocation to pursue. If men are to take the risk of rejection then there needs to be some attraction. Women are designed to attract and resist, but what happens when women stop attracting by getting frumpy and dropping sexual signals, and only resist? This is what typically happens in long-term relationships, and the sex just stops. Women stop flirting, and when men come-onto them, they resist. So men stop getting the right signals of interest and don’t know when to pursue or worse, don’t want to pursue due to lack of attraction. Women are in charge of sending men the right cues at the right time (when she’s receptive) so women need to play that role.
If sex is of no interest to you, then you’re in for a difficult ride as most of the time men are in need of sex, it’s just not a negotiable option. Women often feel that a need for sex is primitive and possibly oppressive, but it’s how men express their love and intimacy, so what if it’s polar opposite to that of women. Different isn’t bad.
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You Love Him, Then Show Him
Talk is cheap, men don’t operate in the verbal world, they value getting stuff done in the physical world. The same goes for affection. It’s not enough to say “I love you,” men want you to show them you love them. Some of that is covered under body language, already, but there’s more to it than just flirting to show you like him. You also need to follow through.
Teasing to no end is just flaky, there needs to be an end-game and usually that means sex, though not always. But if women do flirt, don’t deny men sex when he tries to seal the deal – ever really. Talk about a huge insult! If you’re too tired or it’s not the right time, you have hands, also a mouth (crass, but, yes, it’s how we rationalize), but if all that’s out of the question – just rain check. Men understand when you aren’t in the mood, but you better follow through and initiate next time. While dating, it was fine to push him away in order to secure commitment and he’d probably come back, but in a long-term relationship sex must happen or the intimacy will slowly die as far as men are concerned. Men work hard and risk a lot of pride to land women and they expected continuous access to sex without much difficulty otherwise they’d still be happily dating. Women might not agree with this, but it’s the reality, and it will never change.
Women can show men they care through food, sex, touch, intimacy and praise. Almost anything mentioned in this section would qualify as showing love. Whatever you decide, be physical with your affection. Men find words hollow and often contradictory, physical displays of affection are real and concrete, beneficial and necessary to complete men.
Cooking And Nurturing Skills
Win your man through his stomach. Women should know at least a half dozen meals they can cook well and these should ideally be tailored to their husband or boyfriend. Men do want their women to be independent, but men also have a deep desire to be felt taken care of, as their mother did. The good old fashioned unconditional nurturing. Women today want men to do half the nurturing, but this breaks down because women don’t value men that nurture nearly as much as men value women who nurture them. Men that nurture tend to be overlooked because subconsciously women find this to be unsexy. Most women can find their nurturing side if they drop the feminist indoctrination and provide their mates with an extremely valued form of currency.
If men get a steady stream of care from their wives or girlfriends they will open up more and also be more motivated to provide for them. Men will nurture back in their own special way. If the wife or girlfriend will not provide care for him, than no one else will – he knows this, and his one best shot at gaining affection is through commitment to a woman. What kind of woman will you be? One that gives your affection out freely and plentifully, or one that keeps him hostage by unevenly distributing it?
Men desire women who are sexually adventurous, eager to please, and fun loving. If you’re too busy, then schedule sex into your life, but never tell him in advance unless you plan to fulfill your promise without fail because if you say something about sex or hint at it, it’s going to burn a hole through his head all day long. As a rule, women don’t know when they’ll be in the mood, so planning it and putting it on the calendar might lead to disaster, especially if the day unfolds in a way that doesn’t leave time or puts her out of the mood. Instead, women should plan the event out quietly then slowly and steadily build up sexual tension until the time is right for her. She can begin flirting in the morning with a sexy note and then some sexy texts throughout the day. When she gets home, she can wear something more revealing (not, I repeat, not more comfortable) and ramp up advances to coy display and touching. Then it’s up to her man to read the signals. If nothing happens, ramp it up the next day, or just go for it. Men like it when women won’t take no for an answer.
This might be asking too much though, as women normally drip-feed sex in a long term relationship, or worse, use it as a currency for utility. Rather, sex should be offered before any services are rendered. It’s fine that women expect men to pull their share around the house, but sex withdraw is not an acceptable form of motivation. Most women just stop having sex, or drastically reduce sex once in an established relationship. This is a disaster for most men, as sex is required at least 2-4 times a week in order for men to feel emotionally connected to their wife or girlfriend. Sex is the primary way men express their affection toward women. The quickest way to turn a woman into a housemate is through lack of sex – no sex, no intimacy.
Men who don’t get enough sex will become angry, frustrated and dissatisfied. This is not in men’s control, not at all, it’s a natural response to being sexually rejected, so it’s not a matter of just shutting it off. The more sex is repressed, the more men lose a part of their sole. Men can live without sex, but they’ll usually do it without sharing space with a woman (being single or divorced is better than a sexless relationship). Having a constant reminder of what you are missing in close proximity while a woman still gains access to services of protection and assistance or company/friendship, is not how men preserve their sanity. If women disagree with this, that’s fine, but it’s the truth. Men get married for the nurturing and ready access to sex.
If sex is becoming boring, then visit a sex shop on your own time and grab some new toys, learn some new positions, play a new game, find some sexy costumes or learn some new skills. There are plenty of web resources geared to learning how to give better oral sex, as just one example. Kiss passionately to show him that you care for him!
Looking Nice Just For Him
Men want women to express their femininity. They also want women to look nice just for their benefit and not as a general broadcast signal to everyone else. What message does it send when a woman comes home from working at an office and takes off her business attire to jump into sweats? Not a positive one, that’s for sure! Men view this as disrespectful. When arriving home from work, or on her days off, women should take the time to preen and re/apply make-up. Women might consider wearing something more comfortable, possibly even revealing, so long as it still appears stylish rather than frumpy.
Women would do well to wear make-up almost all of the time, if possible keep their hair long and styled, put on a skirt rather than pants, stay fit and eat well. All else equal, it’s best to overdress than under-dress. Men aren’t attracted to women who dress and act like men, but they aren’t expecting a supermodel either, they just want the women they committed to, to care about their presentation. Outward beauty is an expression of a woman’s internal beauty and men seek and care for women who express their femininity in a way that is understandable to them.
Sex appeal is more than just appearance. Its more than just breasts, butts, and legs. It’s youthfulness, innocence, childlike qualities – it’s attitude. A woman that is well put together can turn men on, but if she berates and belittles, it’s game over. It’s a huge turn off. To have girl-game is to be happy, smiling and joking, to relax and be easy to please, and easy to be around. Listen, men and women deal with stress all day and about in equal amounts, no one needs to come home to an unsupportive spouse or girlfriend who can’t separate her money tree from her life support. Leave stress where it belongs and use the time around men to enjoy yourself.
Good girl game means laughing at his jokes, being silly, goofing around, play wrestling, tickle fights, or maybe just eye contact and smiling for starters! Rewire your brain to forget or ignore the stress of the day and instead focus on the play and fun you can be having with your man.
Pick Your Battles
Like women, men know we have shortcoming even if it doesn’t seem to be on the radar for improvement. Just because men don’t emote all the time about their insecurities, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. But you should take a note from this page and toast the talk. You can confide in men, but if it’s not something we can fix, it’s something you should probably bounce off your girlfriends instead.
Men aren’t interested in your comparison to her friends and how great one aspect of their relationship is – we know on a whole, they are probably (just as!) unhappy anyway. To compare your relationship to some stupid chick flick is even worse. Girls with game will not use a man’s weaknesses against him in some one-upmanship. She is more interested in protecting her family than competing against them in some gender game. Nagging, moaning and picking at minor problems isn’t becoming of a girl with game, so if it’s not important in the grand scheme of happiness, just forget about it. If he does the dishes all wrong – just thank him for it and smile. Wash them again when he’s not looking if you must – at least he’s being thoughtful.
Finally, know when it’s time to give him some space. When men have problems, they’d much rather do manly things and work them out and you should encourage this. Besides, men have been trying pillow-talk for quite a while now and their complaints (read feelings) go unheard; or maybe “unfixed” is a better word. Men can talk woman’s ears off, but if men have a problem, it’s going to be him that needs to deal with it himself, not with the help of women. And it’s not because men don’t want some help with their issues, they do, it’s just that after trying a few times, men started to figure out that women were never designed to be the protectors and providers to men. Women should nurture her man’s pain away, rather than encourage him to emote. So while he broods, give him the space and understanding to sort it through on his own.
Let Him Help You
If you can’t open that pickle jar, LET HIM HELP! Seriously, men don’t mind. We’re designed to help women, it makes us feel good, but when we do, we need you to thank us! When a woman goes all “I don’t need no man” and fights the jar for an hour, she proves nothing of the sort. In fact, she’s just appearing foolish and stubborn for political reasons. If you need help understanding the programming on an electronic device, ask a man for help. When he fixes the problem, nurture his utility, provide him with the prestige and “male privilege” that utility used to be rewarded by. Bat your eyes at him and show him a little skin, that’s all they ask in return.
Below is a check list for the pre-feminist women. A throwback to when women had defined roles:
• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
• Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.
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